Help me.
Dan, you really got a sister?
This is true.
But you told us you were an only child.
I wanted the attention.
Gee, big age difference between the two of you.
She was kind of an accident.
Not planned, huh?
No, an accident. I accidentally backed the truck into Papa as he was helping Mama unload the groceries. Nine months later, a blessed event.
Fertile land, that bayou.
What am I supposed to do? I don't even know her. I mean, she was three years old when I left home. I can't relate to her. We have nothing in common.
How about parents?
Oh, sure. Ma and Pa Kettle. Then what? The truth is, I'm ashamed to face her. I was a pretty lousy brother.
Oh, come on, Dan. You couldn't have been that bad.
Christine, my last words to her were, "there is no Santa Claus."
What?!
[patting his shoulder] Of course there is. Don't you listen to him.
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