Sean, Mark and others in “9x07”

Can we have a look at the newspaper headline?

Well it's the Daily Mail so no doubt at the bottom it'll say like "millions of Ethiopians are dying, they'll probably move next door to you tomorrow!"

Well it would be good if they moved next door to him (points to David) he could feed them, can't he?

They don't all like sausages though, they're used to rice and stuff. (to David) Do you do rice?

W...

No, no, it's alright. This was the same time that Guys n' Dolls were about, yeah?

No it was a bit later, actually... (an ice-cream van's chimes play "Oh Dear! What Can the Matter Be?")

Ooh, your van's here!

I've gotta go! (gets up) Gotta make some money! (sits back down again) You're gonna let me go as well, aren't you?

I wasn't gonna cry for you to come back! You must feel very at home with the team captains - a 99 and a Flake!

I'm a little bit peckish, I don't know why! (the chimes play again) Mummy, the onion ring man is here!

Oooh sausages! Sausages!

Special magic sausages!

Did you put "Van" in your name after you got the van, or is that just a coincidence?

I don't think it's a music video at all...

It's Ally McCoist and he comes out and shags Midge and goes, "You're Scottish, you'll do!"

Midge & McCoist. Urgh, what a bad porn film that would make! You'd never buy a porn film with "Midge" in the title, would you?

Not again anyway, that's for sure!

Although I would buy one called "The Magic Sausage", which is one of my favourite operas.

I really don't think it's a music video, I think it's a soap powder commercial, a really long-winded one. "Do you want to know how to get rid of dirt? Grime? Grass stains? Snake venom? Midge Ure? Use new Daz!" That might be it.

Also to be in the jungle and do the Challenge, that would be pretty cruel, wouldn't it? "Is this better than your normal soap powder?" "We haven't got a normal soap powder, we haven't got anything to eat! Although hold on, what's that noise?" (the chimes ring again and Ricky puts his hand up)