Cookie quotes from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Cookie

I can't wait 'til next year it's the eighth grade and who knows what could happen.

Cookie

When are you going to steal the golden notebook?

Ned

Not steal, borrow it without asking!

Moze

(runs to the bathroom) Do not go in there!

Cookie

I'm dead. How am I going to dance with Vanessa and Lisa at the same time?

Moze

Wait for a merengue song, keep spinning, and hope for the best.

Ned

Where's Suzie?

Moze

She's with Jock.

Ned

No! She's supposed to be with me, to kiss!

Ned

(groans)

Moze

That's it! I'm calling for help!

Ned

If he breaks his neck, he'll be in the hospital! Not in the principal's office!

Cookie

Not one of your best plans.

Gordy

Yeah, especially considering we're on the second floor.

Ned

I just want a girl whose funny, athletic, smart, has a great smile, is a good friend, isn't afraid to take charge once in a while, likes sports and call me demanding, but I like them on the tall side.

Cookie

You just described Moze.

Ned

What? Very funning! I've known her forever, we're just friends! And I'll know my perfect girl when I see her.

Moze

So, how did it go with Faymen?

Ned

Something tells me he doesn't like me. Actually, it was him.

Moze

You just have to get to know each other, find out what you guys have in common. You both read. There's something. And I like him, and it's important that my best friend likes him.

Ned

Fine.

Moze

And got a little treat for you.

Ned

75 dollars to super nail salon and day spa?

Moze

My aunt gave it to me and it expires today. We can get manicures, get our faces scrubbed.

Ned

EHHH!

Moze

Guys get manicures all the time.

Ned

Then ask Faymen.

Moze

He's got a big soccer practice tonight. Did you know he's like some big soccer prodigy in Brazil?

Ned

Then I suggest you ask a girl.

Moze

Of Course. I'll just ask...[crickets chirping] You know, I'm just gonna pick up the phone and call...[owl hooting] I'm the captain of the volleyball team. I'll just get one of my friends on the team to go.

Cookie

My Pen! My Lucky Pen's gone! GG-GG! I ACED 5 tests with that pen and now I'M GONNA FLUNK and be a flunky.

Moze

OK. Let's split up. Cooke, you stay here, look for your stupid pen! Ned, you go to study hall, make friends with Faymen.

Ned

AAH!

Moze

I'll go to practice and find a girl to go to the spa with.

Seth

(His guards don't let him in) Sorry, Cookie, but my parents banned you because of what happened last year.

Cookie

What? What did I do?

Cookie

So I almost burned down the house. It wasn't my fault. It's the song that should be banned and not me.

Seth

Yeah, sorry, but speaking of fire, did you see Lisa? She is hot. (Cookie says nothing) Laters!

Cookie

But.....[he walks out]

Moze

Oh, don't tell me you're the freak in the bird suit I heard about.

Cookie

I have a plan.

Moze

[sighs]

Moze

What does Suzie have that I don't?

Cookie

Ned.

Cookie

(walks in on Ned and Moze) Was I interrupting something?

(in unison) We're going out now!

Cookie

Cool!

Cookie

What do girls like most in a guy?

Moze

Honesty, a sense of humor...

Cookie

No, superhero. Lois Lane loves Superman. Mary Jane loves Spider-Man. And Lisa will love...[reveals symbol on inside of shirt] The Steel Eagle! The Steel Eagle fights for justice, protects the class on field trips, and will impress Lisa so much she'll get pizza with me and we'll live happily ever after.

Moze

Or, this is a sign that you have finally lost your mind.

Ned

So, looks like Gordy's done chasing weasels.

Cookie

I got my pizza date with Lisa and I'm going to meet her now.

Moze

And now that Ned and I are going out, [Ned puts his arm around her] we'll join ya.

Ned

And we all lived happily ever after.