[The beginning of the series]
It's the first day of school, and it can be totally frightening. But the key to surviving it is whether you're ready... or not.
[a boy falls down to the floor with an overloaded backpack]
All S1
Characters
Ned BigbyDevon Werkheiser · 20 quotes
MozeLindsey Shaw · 14 quotes
CookieDaniel Curtis Lee · 12 quotes
SethAlex Black · 5 quotes
GordyDaran Norris · 4 quotes
EvelynMichelle Kim McCoy · 3 quotes
SimoneNolan North · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Ned Bigby & Moze (9), Ned Bigby & Cookie (7), Moze & Cookie (7)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
And make your excuses realistic, because no one is gonna believe that a dog ate your homework. [a dog runs by and snatches Ned's homework] A dog ate my homework!
PNPalmer Noid
I like you.
Please, don't!
Jock never liked me. He used me to get Amy jealous. I'm such an idiot.
No, he's the idiot. Any guy would be lucky to have you as his girlfriend.
[smiles] That's the nicest thing you ever said to me.
When are you going to steal the golden notebook?
Not steal, borrow it without asking!
SSweeney
Bigby. I noticed you aren't doing well in my class.
That's not true. I haven't been doing well in any class.
Sorry. I guess I'm not used to you calling me 'Jennifer.'
That's because I've been calling you 'Moze' since the first grade, remember?
Yeah...
There were three Jennifers in class, but only one Moze. And there still is only one Moze! Wanna know what a 'Moze' is? It's a super-cool girl who happens to be my best friend.
You are such a dork sometimes! [playfully shoves Ned]
I know. Jennifer.
Call me 'Moze.' [Ned grins]
SSuzie
Hey, let's hit Brazil for some music, and dancing, and...
[Suzie grabs Ned's hand, and looks and smiles at him. Ned does the same until his stomach acts up, which surprises Moze, Suzie and Jock]
I'll meet you guys there.
[Ned runs to the bathroom, and goes into the girl's bathroom. Girls scream]
Oh, come on!
[Ned runs into the boy's bathroom, where he has diarrhea]
SSuzie
Hey, Ned! I've been waiting for you...
[Suzie puckers her lips and leans in to kiss Ned. Ned's stomach acts up again, Ned blocks Suzie's kiss with his hand]
You're going to have to wait a little longer...
[Ned runs to the bathroom, leaving Suzie shocked]
(runs to the bathroom) Do not go in there!
I'm dead. How am I going to dance with Vanessa and Lisa at the same time?
Wait for a merengue song, keep spinning, and hope for the best.
Where's Suzie?
She's with Jock.
No! She's supposed to be with me, to kiss!
[Ned farts and poops in the bathroom]
(groans)
That's it! I'm calling for help!
[Moze dials and calls for help]
I can't wait 'til next year it's the eighth grade and who knows what could happen.
(the end of the second season)
IiTeacher
[introducing herself to the class] Have you ever heard of home-schooling? Well, I'm home-teaching. Don't ask why, it's none of your business!
Ned and Cookie: [after Moze unplugs iTeacher's computer in a bout of frustration] That wasn't very nice.
[to Ned] Well, you're too tough.
Not anymore. From now on, it's super nice, non-bully, Ned Bigby.
If he breaks his neck, he'll be in the hospital! Not in the principal's office!
Not one of your best plans.
Yeah, especially considering we're on the second floor.
[after kissing Cookie] You drive me crazy. [slaps him, leaving him with a confused, awestruck expression]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.