Moze quotes from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Moze

STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN, SISTER! (tackles Missy)

Moze

[about Ned taking the heat for her] He saved me!

Moze

Jock never liked me. He used me to get Amy jealous. I'm such an idiot.

Ned

No, he's the idiot. Any guy would be lucky to have you as his girlfriend.

Moze

[smiles] That's the nicest thing you ever said to me.

Moze

Sorry. I guess I'm not used to you calling me 'Jennifer.'

Ned

That's because I've been calling you 'Moze' since the first grade, remember?

Moze

Yeah...

Ned

There were three Jennifers in class, but only one Moze. And there still is only one Moze! Wanna know what a 'Moze' is? It's a super-cool girl who happens to be my best friend.

Moze

You are such a dork sometimes! [playfully shoves Ned]

Ned

I know. Jennifer.

Moze

Call me 'Moze.' [Ned grins]

Moze

(runs to the bathroom) Do not go in there!

Cookie

I'm dead. How am I going to dance with Vanessa and Lisa at the same time?

Moze

Wait for a merengue song, keep spinning, and hope for the best.

Ned

Where's Suzie?

Moze

She's with Jock.

Ned

No! She's supposed to be with me, to kiss!

Ned

(groans)

Moze

That's it! I'm calling for help!

Moze

[to Ned] Well, you're too tough.

Ned

Not anymore. From now on, it's super nice, non-bully, Ned Bigby.

Moze

So, how did it go with Faymen?

Ned

Something tells me he doesn't like me. Actually, it was him.

Moze

You just have to get to know each other, find out what you guys have in common. You both read. There's something. And I like him, and it's important that my best friend likes him.

Ned

Fine.

Moze

And got a little treat for you.

Ned

75 dollars to super nail salon and day spa?

Moze

My aunt gave it to me and it expires today. We can get manicures, get our faces scrubbed.

Ned

EHHH!

Moze

Guys get manicures all the time.

Ned

Then ask Faymen.

Moze

He's got a big soccer practice tonight. Did you know he's like some big soccer prodigy in Brazil?

Ned

Then I suggest you ask a girl.

Moze

Of Course. I'll just ask...[crickets chirping] You know, I'm just gonna pick up the phone and call...[owl hooting] I'm the captain of the volleyball team. I'll just get one of my friends on the team to go.

Cookie

My Pen! My Lucky Pen's gone! GG-GG! I ACED 5 tests with that pen and now I'M GONNA FLUNK and be a flunky.

Moze

OK. Let's split up. Cooke, you stay here, look for your stupid pen! Ned, you go to study hall, make friends with Faymen.

Ned

AAH!

Moze

I'll go to practice and find a girl to go to the spa with.

Moze

How did Missy get you to ask her to Seth's party?

Ned

Well...

Ned

She wore me down. But, anyway, I need to move on from [sees Suzie] SUZIE CRABGRASS?!

Seth

Yeah, I invited Suzie and she came. (turns to Ned) I bet you're feeling pretty conflicted right now. Anyway, laters.

Moze

Oh, don't tell me you're the freak in the bird suit I heard about.

Cookie

I have a plan.

Moze

[sighs]

Moze

What does Suzie have that I don't?

Cookie

Ned.

Ned

Ahem. You wanted to see the Wild Boy, right?

Moze

It didn't happen. [Ned steps out looking like the wild boy; she giggles]

Ned

I don't think things are working out with me and Suzie.

Moze

And Loomer's not my type.

Ned

Well, what is your type?

Moze

You know me. I like the wild boys.

Ned

So, maybe... we should go out. You know, boyfriend-girlfriend, more than friends?

Moze

(as the two hold hands) Holding hands, talking all night, heart-shaped candies on Valentine's Day?

Ned

I'm ready if you are.

Moze

Bring it on.

(in unison) Best field trip ever.

Cookie

(walks in on Ned and Moze) Was I interrupting something?

(in unison) We're going out now!

Cookie

Cool!

Cookie

What do girls like most in a guy?

Moze

Honesty, a sense of humor...

Cookie

No, superhero. Lois Lane loves Superman. Mary Jane loves Spider-Man. And Lisa will love...[reveals symbol on inside of shirt] The Steel Eagle! The Steel Eagle fights for justice, protects the class on field trips, and will impress Lisa so much she'll get pizza with me and we'll live happily ever after.

Moze

Or, this is a sign that you have finally lost your mind.

Ned

So, looks like Gordy's done chasing weasels.

Cookie

I got my pizza date with Lisa and I'm going to meet her now.

Moze

And now that Ned and I are going out, [Ned puts his arm around her] we'll join ya.

Ned

And we all lived happily ever after.