You enjoying yourself, Abs?
Yes!!! [looking at Gibbs] But you're not. Sorry.
S6 E5Nine Lives
Thanks, Abs. You can go back to your mold now.
Aw, Gibbs. You say the sweetest things.
What do you see?
Um, french vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
Interesting. [flipping to another picture] What now?
Um.
You can say it. We're grown-ups, McGee. Say it.
Sex.
Mold sex, actually. Practically mold porn.
Why are you showing me mold porn?
I'm intrigued by how intrigued you are by this, Tony.
And I am curious that you are curious that I am intrigued.
Nesiah tova. [Hebrew, "have a safe trip"]
See you next week.
[Fornell walks past McGee, Tony and Ziva to the conference room to meet an angry Gibbs]
For a guy that's about to be handed his head...
He seems to have it firmly on his shoulders.
Calm before the storm. Gibbs versus Fornell. It's like Frazier-Ali or Rocky versus... everyone.
What are you Mcdoing, McGee?
OK McGee, what do you see?
Crunched berries cereal.
Okay, now what do you see? [flips to another picture]
Ohh, French vanilla ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles.
Interesting. Alright, how about now? [flips to another picture]
Um.
Come on, McGee. Say it. We're grown-ups. Sex, say it.
Sex.
Mold sex. I mean its practically mold porn.
Why are you showing me mold porn?
S6 E6Murder 2.0
[as Norman Bates] My mother isn't quite herself today... [to Ziva, explaining] Psycho.
You certainly have your moments!
A movie, Ziva.
[...]
[as Norman Bates] Blood, blood!
[to Gibbs] Psycho.
He has his moments.
Hey, you haven't forgotten about the screen saver, have you, Ziva?
Actually, I had, thanks for reminding!
What are friends for?!
[Referring to the serial killer] Someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.
Nice girl, wasn't my type though.
Really? She was breathing.
Oh, I have standards, Ziva, otherwise I'd be dating you.
My CPU is too small.
I'm gonna let that slide.
[McGee enters the squad room, Tony runs up to him.]
[whispering] Run for your life, Probie! Run!
What are you doing?
Just trying to save your life!
What did you do?
[laughs indignantly] Why do you assume it's me...? That's a good point, but in this case, actually...
MCGEE!
Too late.
[sees Ziva] Why is she sitting at my...?
You're on your own, Probie.
McGee, get in here!
Plead temporary insanity, it's your best bet.
What did I tell you, McGee?
Uh, about what?
[She swivels the monitor, revealing the photo of herself in a bikini that Tony took in "Judgment Day".]
Uh...
I told you to destroy those, twice!
I did! I did... No, I, I didn't, um, Tony, Tony, Tony must've...
What? When you went to get coffee? You did not erase those photos, did you? Hmm? Admit it and I will spare you one of your eyes!
...I did not erase those photos.
[Ziva takes a slow, deep breath...]
I think I know what happened. I-I-I-I just deleted my old screensaver, and theoretically the operating system could have defaulted to the photo directory, but, you know, the odds...
Today's not your lucky day.
It is Halloween later this week.
And I did see a black cat this morning...! Well, it was, it was dark brown.
[whispering] Give me your hand.
[McGee freezes.]
[entering] Better than losing an eye, McGee.
[looking at the crime scene] Looks like their evening was ruined.
I am going to ruin McGee's whole year.
Don't you think you're being a little uptight about this photo thing?
No, really. What do you think he's doing with it?
I would rather shave my eyeballs than contemplate that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.