TV show quotes
She does this for fun! She's been arrested twice! She steals people's money, she buys things...
The crazy ones are the best.
See, the weird thing is... I kinda dig it, you know?
Okay, love is never having to read her her Miranda rights, but she's gonna do this to somebody else. Throw her psycho ass in the brig. I love you, McGee. That should be enough.
[entering the squad room in his sunglasses] Is it always this bright in here?
Wait a second, I recognize that look. You had sex, and I'm guessing it was with a girl.
No...
No, it wasn't a girl?
No, it's none of your business.
If the probie was probing last night, I demand details.
That lipstick on your collar McGee?
[uneasily] Well...
Good for you, Tim. Good for you. Just don't ever get married.
[Tony is fiddling with his computer, the plasma screen goes blank.]
Tell me you didn't just lose all that information!
McGee! [McGee hunches over Tony's computer] Space bar?
[typing] Just push the buttons I tell you to push, monkey.
Love is not treating you well, my friend.
Yeah, no kidding.
I'm driving.
I'm dead.
I'm a trained navigator, Tony.
Yeah? Well, I got an A in Geography. Plus, I'm senior field agent. I'm pulling rank.
I'm also a trained assassin.
God! Oh, God, these are new boots!
This is not the time for sightseeing, Tony!
The only sight I see is your big black...
Hey!
Backpack! Walking faster!
Do you know what my biggest pet peeve is, McGee?
People who say they're vegetarians but eat chicken?
Taylor's phone was just activated, we're tracking it now.
Welcome to the club. I wouldn't say it's a fun one.
You sound tired, DiNozzo.
We're following Ziva, even the dogs are tired.
I'm driving.
I'm dead.
[after hitting the comic book McGee's reading] Does that make you wanna hit me?
It's really tempting. But I think I'm gonna pass. [Ziva walks in] Maybe Ziva'll do it.
Maybe Ziva will do what?
I've been working on my six-pack. You know? Abs.
You and Abby have been drinking?
No, abdominals. No more beer gut for me. I've been training hardcore. Hitting the core hard. Carved. Hard as wood.
To match your head.
[after Tony asks Ziva to hit him in the abdomen] As hard as she can?
As hard as you can.
You know that's how Houdini died?
Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
It is possible, I do not remember all their names.
[As Tommy Lee Jones] All right, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes.
It has been three hours, Tony.
Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injuries, is 4 miles per hour.
He's not on foot, he's in a car!
What I need out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the area. Our fugitive has a name. And it is...
Corporal Damon Werth.
Hey, the Tommy Lee Jones speech... every time we have a fugitive? Really?
What were you having feelings about? You just said you were having feelings.
I said that I have feelings, not that I am having feelings.
That is a pretty sophisticated grammatical differentiation.
Don't change the subject with your big words, McNerd. Ziva says she had a feeling. Tell us about this feeling. What was this feeling?
I felt... overwhelmed. Temporarily. Which does not often happen to me. When we were wrestling with Werth.
[Tony and McGee look at each other]
What? What is this look?
Nothing. [Ziva goes back to working, Tony and McGee smile] You like him.
He was powerful.
You really like him
No I am saying he is stronger than any man I have encountered. But strength should not decide a battle. There is a weapon for every fight.
You itchin' for a rematch?
Wanna roll around on the ground with him some more?
I am trying to describe something -- complicated.
It's not complicated, Ziva. It's Conan.
To her Red Sonja.
Nice.
It only lasted a moment.
You had a moment. A moment and a feeling. And a smack to the head, broken nose, dislocated shoulder. It's been a banner day.
Easy on the painkillers, DiNozzo.
Courage doesn't have anything to do with medals. It's simple. You run to the gunfire, not away from it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
