Meredith Brody quotes from NCIS: New Orleans

Pride

Know that joke? "How can you tell a politician is lying?"

Brody

"His lips are moving."

Pride

That's it. Save yourself some embarrassment.

Brody

Everyone always accuses me of running. But there is a difference between running and putting something behind you!

Wade

There is. But if you keep avoiding that something, people still wonder if you have your track pants and jogging shoes on.

Brody

Don't you have servers to upload or motherboards to crack?

Patton

There's so many things wrong with that sentence, it hurts.

No talk! No talk! America, rights, da?

LaSalle

Well, what about the rights of that girl you murdered?

I don't understand. Stupid Police!

Brody

NOPD's on the way.

LaSalle

You tell 'em to bring a translator? 'Cause I can't understand a word Baryshnikov here is saying.

Brody

Why murder the girl?

I didn't murder anyone

Brody

Rosetta Stone. I was gonna take a semester in Moscow, but it's too cold.

Tell us what's going on here?

Why should I talk to you?

LaSalle

Because you're facing the death penalty if you don't. How do you say "lethal injection"?

Brody

Uh, Rosetta Stone doesn't really cover stuff like that.

Brody

Nothing helpful at the first three places Josh took the baby.

LaSalle

What's next?

Brody

Supermarket, two blocks up.

LaSalle

You ever consider kids?

Brody

Consider? Yeah. But living life as an agent all you ever see is things gone bad. Makes it hard to think about bringing home a little bundle of.

LaSalle

Potential things to go bad.

Brody

Yeah.

LaSalle

I got to say I'm into having a whole basketball team full of little LaSalles. But procreating in my family is like playing the gene pool lottery. My brother Cade, he's not the only branch off the family tree with issues

Brody

I get it. But a LaSalle family basketball team? That'd be pretty cool.

LaSalle

Now, you can uh...

Percy

Clean the shotguns? Done. Get Agent Pride his chicory? Also done. And that mail? Collated by recipient, stacked by size.

Brody

Kind of into having a newbie, especially one that's not me.

Percy

Listen here, luscious locks, I transferred from ATF, which means I come in as a full agent.

Brody

What the hell was that?

Pride

That was what my mother would call a tornado riding on the back of a hurricane.

Brody

It's still blurry.

LaSalle

If only we knew someone with access to top secret photo software...!

Brody

Fine, fine, fine, fine. I will call her.

Brody

Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo?

So close, but you know I don't work for Hogwarts anymore.

Sebastian

Well, then I guess it's a good thing Chris and Merri are on the case. Not you Chris and Merri, the other Chris and Merri.

Brody

Really?

Sebastian

named the bees. So, most of the specimens came back DOA, but two of them were just stunned. So I nursed 'em back to health and when they're no longer evidence, I'm considering becoming an urban apiarist. Chris and Merri, meet Chris and Merri.

Brody

Hmmm. Which is which?

Sebastian

Well, Chris is the one with the funny accent.

Brody

Okay, the third thing?

Sebastian

I killed Chris.

Brody

Chris as in LaSalle?

Sebastian

Chris as in LaBee. There was an incident when I tried to run further tests. We got into it, and he stung me.

Brody

Ouch.

Sebastian

Honestly, you know, I think he was just depressed. It was one of those classic death-by-scientist kind of things.

Brody

[phone beeps] Chris.

Sebastian

The person, I assume?

Brody

Yeah, gotta go.

Sebastian

Okay. Hey, when you see him, you'll tell him it wasn't personal.

Friend's a pretty strong word, Christopher. I always liked King. [about LaSalle] I tolerated him.

Brody

I know what you mean. Nice to meet you.

Brody

I may have let it slip once.

Bishop

Okay.

Pride

[enters] Ellie! [hugs Bishop]

Bishop

Hey.

Pride

Hey, how you doing?

Bishop

Good.

Pride

Good. Good. Listen once this case is done, we'll had over to Sal's. Crawfish and beer. And we'll sort all this out.

Brody

Maybe twice.

Brody

This has 'epic fail' written all over it. Loretta, please back me up!

Wade

All I know is I tried setting Dwayne up one, and he ducked me like Muhammad Ali!

Sebastian

Do you know the one thing that a woman looks for in a man?

Brody

Well, since I am a woman, I can tell you it's--

Sebastian

--high earning potential. It's a biological fact!