(as Tom, Crow, and Joel are doing a sketch of trucker characters riding magic carpets and communicating via radio) Hurry up, men, I'm running out of hard candy. Condition red, send in the clowns... oh, what's the use?! (breaks into hysterical sobbing as Crow and Joel enter)
Ah, man, Joel, he's totally off-script! There's nothing that says anything about sobbing like a broken man!
Yeah, you're right; let's see here... Tom says "Time formation, men. These kids are all over me; argh". It just says "Argh", there's nothing about sobbing pitifully.
(while still crying) I can't do it guys, I just can't do it! I can't go through another sketch loosely based off some vague reference in the movie! There are only a few kinds of fezes in this movie, then suddenly we're the Sahara Shriners riding flying carpets on Maxwell street days! Oh, why?!? Get me out of here!!
I don't understand; how is this sketch any different than anything else we do during the movie?
Well, I figure, Crow, it's not the sketch, it's this movie. I mean, look at him; he's just a broken man.
You're telling me! There's absolutely no psychological footholds in this movie! It's like trying to climb El Capitan! There's something wrong with me... there's something wrong with me!! Why? Why?!? (sobs uncontrollably)
Better you than me!
Oh, Crow, c'mon... (addresses Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank in disgust) Look at what you've done to him! Do you see what you've done to this guy?! Come on!
(watching the scene unfold in satisfaction alongside Frank) You see Frank, it feels good to be with the winners, doesn't it?
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