[The rather effeminate-looking General Ford explains to the media that the mantis is real]
General Ford: I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines...
Crow [as Ford]: I'm not gay!

[The rescue ship flies away from Rheton]
Chapman: Now they'll never believe me...
Mike [as Chapman]: [Unemotionally] I'll have to kill them all.

[The Runaway and the Cyborg Master's fight is filled with various continuity errors, as pointed out by Mike.]
Mike: Huh??
Servo: The movie that packs more "Huhs" per second!

[The Runaway flees through a shipping yard and throws obviously empty cardboard boxes at his pursuer.]
Mike: Boxes of air, shipped anywhere overnight.
. . .
Mike: Maybe they ship fully inflated balloons overseas?
. . .
[The Runaway finds himself at a dead end among the boxes.]
Crow: He's boxed in!
Mike: Yeah, well, I'm card-bored.

[The scene cuts from the cruising camper to the cave, emitting a red glow.]
Joel: Oh, terrific -- we were saved by the gates of Hell.
Crow: Hey, what is it about the gates of Hell that compels people to wander into 'em?
Joel [as Adman]: It's because of Smuckers raspberry preserves.
Crow: And what's he going to do, borrow a cup of sugar from Satan?

[The scene fades to an intersection]
Narrator: Now here's an intersection near where Joe lived.
Crow [as Narrator]: Called "Blood Alley"
Narrator: No stop signs, the kind of place where nobody bothered to stop or slow down...
Joel [as Narrator]: It made you feel happy.
[Scene pans to a car approaching]
Narrator: Here comes someone from one direction and...
[Pan to another car coming the opposite way]
Narrator: ...uh-oh... here comes Joe from the other.
Joel [as Narrator]: Let's watch the fun! Hee-hee! The joke will be on Joe!
[Cut to a pedestrian watching the corner. As the cars approach each other, he plugs his ears, and closes his eyes tightly just before impact.]
Servo: Well, I guess he can't be a witness...
King Dinosaur (movie)

[The scene opens in Ev and Dan's pitch-black kitchen at night.]
Servo: Actually filmed inside the thumbhole of a bowling ball.
. . .
[Later in that scene, Dan begins chasing sister-in-law Terri around the kitchen table after threatening to spank her.]
Mike: And the movie ramps up the revulsion!
Crow: This movie hates us, doesn't it?

[The scientists are examining Johnny's corpse.]
Dr. Wyman: No skin discoloration. Temperature feels normal.
Mike [as Wyman]: Well, let's give him more time to die.

[The scientists are making their way down a steep hill.]
Crow: Carry me.
Tom Servo: Shut up.
Crow: Carry me!
Tom Servo: Shut up.
Crow: CARRY ME!
Tom Servo: Shut up!
Crow: Unnnnnnh...

[The screen shows the name of star Tom Bartlet]
Servo: The king of the Wisconsin Dells finally gets a movie.

[The screen shows: "Are You Ready for Marriage?"]
Mike: Um�� yeah, I'm sick of sex, anyway.

[The scruffy bandits return to seize Ivan and Nastenka.]
Servo: It's��
Mike: It's��
Crow: It's�� a convention of Michael Palin imitators!
. . .
Crow: It's the Seven Dwarves! Filthy, Rotting, Lousey, Skanky, Scabby, Septic and�� Doc.

[The segment on features an explosion, followed by more shots.]
Crow: Then KISS came to town!
Mike [as Narrator]: We don't know what this is, folks, but it's definitely Puerto Rico stuff.
. . .
[We see record players being made.]
Mike: These'll nevr go out of style.
Crow: Comes complete with a Peter Frampton album.

[The ship's engineering crew have decided to join the mutiny, with one exception]
MacPhearson: Gentlemen, it seems that we are not all in agreement.
Mike: I disagree!
MacPhearson: Engineer Parsons seems content to spend his remaining years upon the Southern Sun.
Chief Engineer: Then let him do so alone.
Engineer Parsons: This is mutiny! This is treason, which I warn you I must report.
Crow [as Parsons]: I just have to wet myself first.
MacPhearson: Will you allow him to spoil your ambitions for a greater future?
Chief Engineer: We'll not allow that! No!
Servo: The easily led wise council.
[the assembled engineers grab hold of Parsons, shove him onto the meeting table and beat him up]
Engineer Parsons: Let me go, traitors!
Mike [as Parsons]: What I meant was, I totally endorse what you're doing! G-owww!
Crow: Rip his band uniform, then he'll have to pay for it!
Servo: Next, they're going to give him books so they can dump them.
Crow: Death by snicker-snag!
[the engineers pin Parsons to the floor, and MacPhearson stabs him through the heart with his walking stick]
Mike: I'm going to inflate him to 35lbs!
Servo [as MacPhearson]: Okay, moving on to number three on our agenda, "Sherry's birthday party."
MacPhearson: Are there any other of you that wish to confuse freedom... with treason?
Mike: I'd like to confuse bok choi with cabbage, sir!
MacPhearson: Report to the enforcers' bridge.
Servo: Well, at least it's the rare meeting where something actually got done!

[The short about industrial accidents opens with a quote: "The days of our years are three score and ten..." -- Psalm 90:10.]
Mike: So, we have 70 days in each year?