[The movie opens with the title: The Thing That Couldn't Die.]
The Strom Thurmond Story!
Couldn't die or wouldn't die?
CCrow
Shouldn't?
“The Thing That Couldn't Die” · Season 8
In this episode: Mike Nelson (6), Tom Servo (5), Crow T. Robot (4), Linda (1)
[Jessica demonstrates her dowsing talent by telling the guests where to find Linda's missing watch.]
JJessica
You can find the watch in a trade rat's nest.
A trade rat?
JJessica
Look at the base of oak tree beside Linda's cabin.
SAServo [as Jessica]
…in Maine.
You know, the country needs skilled trade rats.
[Linda puts the found watch up against her ear.]
MAMike [as Linda]
The rats put in a new crystal!
It still runs.
SAServo [as John Cameron Swayze]
John Cameron Trade-Rat.
[Later, Gordon gives Linda a charm he found near the watch.]
GGordon
Here, I polished this for you. We found it in the trade rat's nest.
MAMike [as Gordon]
He had a little tool and die shop down there.
SAServo [as Gordon]
I think I got most of the rat droppings off it.
[Flavia hears a noise outside the window.]
FFlavia
What's that?
CCrow
Eh, it's just those trade rats working the night shift.
[Boyd the ranch hand slouches around.]
CCrow
[singing] There's a thick yellow stain on my back brace!
[The final shot of the movie, a zoom in on Jessica's necklace and cleavage, fills the screen.]
CCrow
The whole movie was leading up to this shot.
MAMike [as Announcer]
Brought to you by the Breast Council.
SAServo [as Announcer]
Buy breasts where you work or bank!
[The black and white Universal logo appears]
In weather today, the oceans turned black!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.