“The Amazing Transparent Man” quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Servo

If he straps on a rubber glove I'm leaving.

Have a look a Coco's medical record... Let's see, whooping cough in third grade, mother ate by cat, father flushed down toilet. Everything normal.

Kind of an abstract sculpture of Jayne Mansfield.

Mike

I don't know what he's doing but it looks naughty!

Mike

All this just to get a UHF station?

Oh, he's with the William Morris Agency.

Keep your eye on the guinea pig.

Servo

[singing] Keep your eyeeeee on the guinea pig!

I'll be right back right after this.

Servo

[dressed as a farmer, while Forrester suggests the SOL gang entertain visitors of Deep 13 with a Llama petting zoo] So you folks wanna touch the Llama, eh? That's right, eh? You can touch him all you want. You can touch him all night til' Hell freezes over! Not me, though; nosiree-bob! I wouldn't touch that smelly old thing. He hasn't been looking too good. Smells kind of funny too- smells really kinda rank! But you can touch him if you want! Ain't no law says you can't! Right, Mikey?

Mike

[staring forward blankly] You people bring matches for Mikey?

Servo

[screaming as Mike starts hitting himself and aggressively attempting to pet Crow's Llama disguise] YOU SHUT UP, MIKEY! YOU SHUT UP! You folks don't give NO matches to Mikey! You hear me? YOU HEAR ME?!! I don't care what Mikey say or Mikey do! I don't care if he comes crawling into your house at night, stark naked with a big 'ol knife! Don't give him no matches!!