JGJapanese General
Operation Rear View Mirror has failed.
Now do Operation Fuzzy Dice.
“Gamera vs. Barugon” · Season 3
In this episode: Tom Servo (4), Joel Robinson (2), Crow T. Robot (1)
[A scorpion slowly crawls on Kawajiri as he maniacally celebrates the opal's discovery.]
Death, where is thy sting? We're waiting.
And, we'll be right back, right after this. Kids, here's the greatest, the neatest, the latest thing! 5000-piece Spike Meta-Monster set, some pieces not included, astonish and baffle your friends and foes as you pulverize Japan! Here's what you get: 500 Japanese light infantry (valuepartsmaynotbemissing), 36 helpless individuals, 20 tanks, 15 rifles, 24 bazooka gun runners, 18 ambulance chasers,12 fighters (setnotincluded), 16 helicopter parts, 200 shooting crossers, 19 fighting clowns, 6 geese a' layin', 24 Mohawk Indians, and much, much, much more! And now recieve it at half the extra value with this defining monster action pack! Flame on with Gamera (torso sold seperately), he belches real fire and causes real pain. Solid rubber Barugon comes with ram-tongue action (not responsible for nerve damage). Act Now! Act Often and snap on the entire "TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA" (some parts may not exist). Complete with buildings, bridges and the breakaway Kurobe dam (smaller than shown). Trample the add on "HAPLESS CITIZEN" Play set, then abhor the action with the fabulous "ANTI-WAR PROTEST Pack."But that's not all! Relive your favorite Japanese movie carnage with the "LIGHTS!, GAMERA!, ACTION!" series. There's the Gimp, the Goon, the Shaved Old Brother, the Hapless Geisha and the Fall Apart Voodoo Kenny. Pose in the nude with the Frisky Kitten Review, then watch the action from high atop Tokyo Tower, as the twisted world you created explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain. Order today! Offer limited! Not available in Utah or Puerto Rico! Prices subject to whim! Please wear rubber underwear! Some parts may be made of chicken! Act now! Buy bonds! Mommy! Mmmmmmommy! Mommy! Momm-mmmph! [Joel muffles him with an oxygen mask]
Let's not do that again, okay? We'll be right back.
[collapses into big, healthy, frightened tears as Joel consoles him]
Hey, thanks a lot for calling in last week, everybody. It sure helps out here on the Satellite of Love to get your messages.
Hey Joel, let's listen to one of the messages!
Alright, that's a good idea. Hey Cambot, could you give it to me on a blue star field screen and give it to me one time, CG bold helvetica straight up on two?
C1Caller 1
I enjoyed the movie, but really hated the constant interruptions that were on there. It was like being in a theater with a bunch of rude Jr. High teenagers. I hope you don't continue the program, not in that fashion anyway.
What a complete wing-nut!
Well listen, Servo, everyone is entitled to their opinion. That's what makes the USA great.
CCrow
Is that so, Joel Hodgson? I think that guy needs an antispasmodic.
Could I say something to our friendly caller, Joel?
Of course, Servo.
Hey buddy, is that your head, or did your neck grow a bubble?
Hey you should talk, listen I think we should listen to another one.
C2Caller 2
[excitedly] Great stuff! More more more MORE MORE!!! GIMME MORE!!! I WANT MOOOOOOOORE!!!!
CCrow
Oh, he must mean Dave Moore.
No, he's on TV 4.
CCrow
No, that's Moore On 4.
No, that's a black gospel singing group.
CCrow
No, that's Moore By Four.
Isn't that an off road truck?
CCrow
No, that's a 4x4.
No you're thinking of a 2x4.
CCrow
No, that's a CB term, you know uh, "2-4, good buddy."
No, that's 10-4- no, that's a tax form you fill out.
CCrow
No, that's 1040- my favorite lubricant!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.