Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, Dwayne and others in “Mr. Monk and the Sleeping Suspect”

Dwayne, don't yank my chain.

Look, I told you, I haven't seen him.

He's your cousin, he's your best friend.

Yeah, and I don't know where he is!

Dwayne, do I look like an idiot to you?

Yeah, you sort of do. [Stottlemeyer raises an eyebrow]

Oh, that's a mistake... you don't want to make him angry. I made him angry once, and you don't want to do that... [Brian Babbage drives up, and repeatedly rams his car into Stottlemeyer's vehicle. As soon as he pulls up ahead of the hood of the car, he lowers the window and says]

Hey, cop! Kiss my ass! [Brian gives them the finger, then floors on the gas pedal]

[to his suspect] Don't move! [Dwayne takes off as Stottlemeyer and Disher jump into their car and prepare to chase Brian]

Can I be honest with you, sir? [Stottlemeyer activates the dashboard light and grabs his radio]

[into radio] All units, clear the air, we're in pursuit of a hit-and-run. He's eastbound on Union.

[excited] This is my first car chase! I've been waiting for this my whole life! [A pickup truck immediately T-bones Brian's car and sends it crashing into another vehicle. Stottlemeyer nonchalantly unbuckles his seatbelt and turns off the dashboard light]

Chase over. What'd you think? [Randy looks at the wreckage, dumbstruck]