O'Dell and Adrian Monk in “Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater”

Excuse me. What are you doing?

Uh, I was just…nothing.

Hey, don't fiddle with the props. I've got to know where these are in the dark, by touch, at a moment's notice. I've been juggling props for forty-four years. Ask me about the first prop I ever bought.

What was the…

The sword Richard Burton used in Camelot. I had to go to Scotland to get it.

Really? Wow. I'm, uh, I'm Adrian Monk, and this is Sh--she's usually right here. This is a terrible week. I'll bet.

Hey, that wasn't my fault. The cops had me under the lights all night long. I told them…I put the prop knife on the set. We use two knives on this show. A real one, and one like this: [O'Dell pulls out and stabs himself with a prop knife]

Hey, whoa! [The knife retracts; O'Dell laughs]

Don't wet yourself. The blade retracts into the handle. Gail must have switched the gag knife for the real one before the show.

May I? [He holds the prop knife up]

See? It doesn't feel like a real knife at all, does it?

No.

She had to know she was holding a real knife. What happened onstage Sunday night, that was no accident. That was a woman scorned. “Hell hath no fury,” right?

And you're sure you put a fake knife on the stage?

I swear. I put it there myself, half an hour before curtain.

And there was nobody else here?

Nope. Except Jenna. Jenna Ryan, Gail's understudy. She was checking in. They check in before the show, see if anybody's sick.