[Sharona has her car in the shop for repairs.]
Tell him about that noise your radio keeps making.
That's my music.
“Mr. Monk Meets the Godfather” · Season 3, Episode 5
In this episode: Adrian Monk (4), Sharona Fleming (4), Agent Colmes (4), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (2), Lt. Randall Disher (2)
[FBI agent Colmes wants Monk to wear a wire into a meeting with mob kingpin Salvatore Lucarelli]
Okay, okay. Here's the thing: I can't have anything taped to my chest.
Ah, that's fine. Come here, I'll... let me show you this. Ah, you see, these days... [pulls out a piece of paper] We can put a transmitter just about anywhere on the human body. You have six options.
[Monk and Sharona examine the list, with Disher and Stottlemeyer looking over their shoulders.]
Number One... is out. Number Two... uh, you-you wouldn't actually shave me there, would you? [Colmes nods.] Okay... no thank you. Number Three...
What if you had to sit down?
Right. Good point. Number Four... [slowly looks up at Colmes, then turns to Sharona] Even if I die, don't let them do Number Four.
Number Five.
I'll do... okay. I'll do it. I'll try that.
That's only for women!
Oh! Right.
Oh, yeah. Ah, Number Six... Number Six. I'll... I can do that.
Number Six? Great.
Not Four.
[Mob "associate" Vince insists on guarding Monk and Sharona.]
VVince
Uncle Sal told me [to] keep an eye on you. It's for your own protection.
It's a little insulting. I haven't needed a babysitter since I was nineteen.
You had a babysitter when you were nineteen?
Everyone did. It was the seventies; it was a crazy time.
[Monk gets a confession from the real culprit, but discovers the wire wasn't working.]
Maybe we can trick him into... saying it again.
Oh, really? How're we gonna do that?
Well, I'll just go back there, sit down, and say... "What?"
[Colmes refuses to support Monk's reinstatement since their sting didn't turn up any evidence against Salvatore.]
Let me tell you something. Adrian Monk may be afraid of germs, heights, elevators, and puppies... but you couldn't pack that man's lunch.
Ah, that's true. I've seen that man pack a lunch. He's insane.
[Stottlemeyer and Disher find Monk and Sharona at the FBI's post]
Hey! I showed them my ID downstairs. I just got to talk to my friend! What, you reaching for your gun? If you're reaching for your gun, you'd better pull it. Stand aside. [to Monk] Monk. [to Colmes] Colmes! Whaddaya think you're doing?!
This is a federal operation, Captain. You have no business being here.
Well, neither does he! What's going on?
They want Adrian to go undercover in the Lucarelli family. [Randy looks at a surveillance photo of Sharona speaking with Fat Tony outside Salvatore's restaurant]
What's up with this picture of you and Fat Tony?
Nothing! And don't call him that!
What? Are you defending him?
Why don't you start by telling them, what happened to the last agent that tried to infiltrate the family? Oh, start by telling them where we found the body buried!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Buried?
Actually the parts that they found.
Okay, that's a different situation. That agent's cover was blown. Monk's been invited in. They already know that he's a cop.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.