[After Monk misses seeing his marathon idol, Tonday, because he was uninvitedly fixing someone's sweater...]
It was askew!
So what? So what -- why can't you just let people be askew? I mean, what are you, the Askew Police?
Yes, I'm the Askew Police.
“Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man” · Season 1, Episode 8
In this episode: Adrian Monk (2), Sharona Fleming (2), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (1)
[Stottlemeyer et al. confront McDowell about his affair with the murder victim.]
She was your girlfriend.
MMcDowell
Yes, uh... I really screwed up, big time.
How long have you been "screwing up"?
[Tonday gives Monk his headband from his famous 1973 run. Monk places it against his cheek.]
Thank you, my friend. Thank you for this. This... means the world to me.
TTonday
I haven't worn it since the big race. Or washed it.
[Tonday gets into his taxi. Monk pulls the headband off his cheek and stares at it.]
Baggie! Baggie! Baggie, baggie!
Just give it to me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.