“Mr. Monk and the Rapper” quotes from Monk

Monk

What's up, Killa?

What is this, good cop, demented cop?

Monk

Let me give you the 4-1-1—that's the information.

I am not going to be putting a bomb under somebody's town car. You know me, I'm up close and personal, face-to-face.

Lt. Disher

Well, not according to this. [Produces a CD, which he puts down on the table] Track 4. A little song called "Car Bomb." [Imitates rapping]] "Ch, ch, ch. I put the bomb in your limo, that's what the surprise is / Under your seat, like Oprah giving prizes." Sound familiar?

Not the way you do it.

Lt. Disher

Yeah, well, I wasn't really performing it.

Look, you got to be one of the whitest white boys I've ever met. And I've met Kevin Costner.

Capt. Stottlemeyer

Randy's upstairs talking to our medical examiner in rap.

Monk

Why?

Capt. Stottlemeyer

I learned a long time ago not to ask Randy why he does anything.