While other mothers were cooking dinner, you were cooking meth.
Otherwise known as working.
All S1
Characters
Christy PlunkettAnna Faris · 30 quotes
Bonnie PlunkettAllison Janney · 25 quotes
Violet PlunkettSadie Calvano · 16 quotes
LukeSpencer Daniels · 4 quotes
ReginaOctavia Spencer · 4 quotes
Marjorie ArmstrongMini Kennedy · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Christy Plunkett & Bonnie Plunkett (17), Christy Plunkett & Violet Plunkett (12), Bonnie Plunkett & Violet Plunkett (4)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Some mothers teach their daughters how to bake. Mine taught me how to beat a cavity search and still feel like a lady.
Mom, I've watched you lick cocaine crumbs out of a shag carpet.
It's not a sin to be thrifty, dear.
Violet, I can't tell you not to have sex at your age, because I had sex at your age.
Mom, I'm not having sex.
Uh, don't lie to the woman who washes your sheets.
That's how you get into heaven, letting a little guy go up on you.
I wish. All he wanted to do was spank me.
Well, no good deed goes unpunished.
I'll have the test results in two minutes.
That's great. I mean the time to worry is so much less. When I was pregnant with you, those things took 20 minutes.
Really?
Yeah, that's how far science has come. So, that's great! [to Bonnie] We'll know the test results in 2 minutes.
Wow. When I was pregnant with you, those things took 2 hours.
Really?
Yeah, that's a long time to wait in a gas station bathroom.
You know, I had sex with a missionary once and oddly -- he wasn't a fan of the position.
[holding up one of Christy's dresses] Were you sober when you bought this?
I don't even remember. I hate all my clothes, they're all from when I was drinking.
[holds up red plastic dress] What were you when you bought this?
Popular.
RRoscoe
[playing blackjack] I don't have anymore money.
No money? Or no money ON you?
RRoscoe
Well, I have some upstairs in my piggy bank.
Well it's not doing you any good up there, is it?
So how'd it go with your boss?
I broke his leg *and* his nose.
It felt good, didn't it?
No, it didn't.
A little bit?
...A little.
Regina, I know this is difficult for you, but I just want you to know, I think you're doing great.
Really? 'Cause I think I might snap and kill you and your mother in your sleep.
Recovering from the fatal disease of alcoholism doesn't mean I can't get some strange every once in a while.
You should sew that on a pillow.
Christy, if a man won't wait until you're ready to share your secret garden, he's not worth a second of your time.
Secret garden? Holy Moses, how many cats do you own?
Four.
I'm telling you, I walked in on my parents having sex once and it traumatized me.
This isn't the same thing.
Yeah, it's worse, the kid can't run out of the room screaming.
[Christy enters] Mom, tell Luke he's not going to hurt the baby.
...If I do that, he'll have sex with you. [to Luke] Stick to your guns.
[Christy doesn't want to talk about her relationship] So how about you, Luke still worried he'll poke the baby's eye out?
Luke is a very caring and sensitive person, and I don't want to talk about it.
[pause] Well since nobody's going to ask me, I'll tell you, I took home a vice cop last night and I do want to talk about it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mom pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.