Right, now then. [Points to an unresponsive Abbey on locker room floor] Prime example about the whole Nadine thing, right? Passed-out girl on the floor, good-looking girl, normally I... would be thinking... [crouches over Abbey's face] balls on face. But nothing.
Balls on face?
Yeah. Dude, but not in a bloody creepy way, mate. In a... you know, like... 'Ey, dude... let's put our balls on each other's faces. For banter, though. Funny. [Abbey wakes up and drinks a sip from a beer can] Yes! Respect, straight back on it.
[Walks in] Who the fuck are you?
Abbey.
[To Finn] What's she doing here? Did you fuck her? Is that what happened?
No.
[Walks up to Finn and leans in] Did you fuck her in here? The smell of the sweat and the feel of the cold, hard tiles on your knees.
I didn't touch her.
Better not have. What's she doing?
She's on community service.
Well, n- no- one told me.
Yeah, well, I'm telling you now.
[Puts hand behind Finn's head] You're responsible for her. If she fucks up, you fuck up, and I'll fuck you up all the way to fuck.
How is that fair?
You can start by cleaning the shit out of the community centre. [Leans into Abbey] Have fun.
What's all that about?
That is our... that is our probation worker. He's bloody highly strung and he's very angry and I just think there's a lot of pain there, to be honest with you.
Well, good look with it all.
What are you doing? You heard what he said, he's going to fuck me up all the way to fuck. And... I don't even know what that means, but it's not good.
That's your problem.
Please just help us out for today. I- I'll sort something out, I'll get you out of it, I'll... I'll fake your death.
Where do I get a jumpsuit?
Ah, yes.
[Opens locker to jumpsuit] Yes, there.
Oh, hello! Do I detect the gentle flush of the female orgasm?
Fuck off.
So is that it then? You and Alex, are you together? Boyfriend and girlfriend?
Yeah, Finn. We swapped friendship bracelets and then we went to the cinema and he touched me up. [To Abbey] Are you on community service?
No. Just pretending.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Misfits quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.