Metalocalypse quotes

Nathan Explosion

Hey! We were watching that.

Pickles the Drummer

Dude, right, so you could make fun of me, I know.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

No way, to compliments you, you were such a beautifuls lady back then. Maybe, yous all favor us with a few make-ups tips.

Pickles the Drummer

Eh hahaha. That's really funny.

William Murderface

It's exciting! Turn it back on! I wanna see what happens!

Pickles

What do you mean? I'm here! That's what happened! That's the end of the story.

William

Well it's boring when you say it.

Pickles

I know.

Toki Wartooth

Pickle? [sigh] this Snakes 'N' Barrel, it's not my cup of tea. It sucks!

Pickles

Well, it's not a nice thing to say, Toki.

Toki

Not my fault it sucks.

Charles Ofdensen

Snakes 'N' Barrels' record sales have gone through the roof since the documentary began airing, and there's interest of a reunion tour -

Pickles

Okay.

Murderface

What if Pickles never comes back? Boy, that'd be totally messed up.

Nathan

Oh come on guys, it's not like this is anyones first band. You'll probably all want to go reunite with your old bands at some point.

Toki

Dethklok is my first band.

Nathan

Oh. Well, one day, you'll want to reunite with us.

Toki

Why? We already together.

Nathan

Just 'cause we're not broken up doesn't mean we can't reunite.

Skwisgaar

Actuallys, I thinks that's exactlys what that means.

Nathan

Seriously?

Skwisgaar

You can'ts reunite with a bands that has not brokeds up. They won't let you.

Toki

That sucks. Psch, great.

Nathan

Wait, could we have a "Not Reunion" tour, where we, you know, just come out and like, you know, do a regular show?

Skwisgaar

No, I looked into it.

Nathan

Well that's pretty lame.

Skwisgaar

Well, that's showbiz.

Murderface

Uhhh, I need a backrub. [dejectedly] I miss Pickles.

Pickles

Okay, I know you're all sober now, and I can totally respect that, so I'm going to resist the urge to do drugs and drink around you. I will still do them, but I will excuse myself and go to a different room.

Pickles

Stop! Stop! Stop! For the love of god. Sweet lord. Have you people forgotten how to play? That sounded awful.

No way man, we're better than ever.

Pickles

Dude. You're sitting on the outside of the drumkit.

Sammy

No I ain't. Oh wait, you're right. Sorry. That's why it felt weird.

Pickles

Hey Bullets, what's this thing you're wearing, what is this?

It's an invention of mine. It's a strapless guitar that also functions as a girdle. Its called a gu-girdle-itar.

Nathan

Hey... good luck on your show tonight.

Pickles

Oh, hey, thanks. I gotta get ready back here, if you don't mind.

Skwisgaar

Go gets them. Haves a really great show... do that for me.

Pickles

...Yeah, I gotta, you know get ready -

William

Just don't forget about us... [raises his beer bottle] He's a good kid!

Pickles

Ohhh, you're acting weird.

Nathan

We just, you know, umm, we care about you.

Skwisgaar

Yeah, if you gets a problems with thats, then, well I guess that's just sad.

Pickles

Oh God, I'm not leaving Dethklok, I've told you this a billion times, okay? I'm just doing this for fun!

Nathan

Yeah, well, it's not brutal you know... Snakes 'N' Barrels isn't brutal.

Pickles

I know.

Nathan

Okay.

Pickles

Okay.

Nathan

Just do a great job! And don't leave us! I gotta get going, YOUR MUSIC SUCKS AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! ...I'm having a hard time expressing myself.

Pickles

Will you guys get the hell out of here? I'm supposed to be going over the songs.

Skwisgaar

Oh ja? Well then where's your stupid band?

Pickles

[gasp] I don't even know where they are!

You guys want to try some Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake? You're gonna get so high your minds will blow chunks into the Milky Way. And what better way to celebrate the reunion than with a good old fashioned Milky Way chunk blow, hmmm?

Pickles

Okay, let's uh... kick ass tonight!

Sammy

Oh wait, I almost forgot, we got some Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake from a dude.

Pickles

Oh, come on guys, I don't wanna encourage any kinda dr- okay, I'll do it!

Apparently, Snakes 'N Barrels were giving psychotropic drugs that have erased their memories, except for Pickles which the drugs had no effect on whatsoever.

Pickles

I grew up smokin' government weed everyday you know, I had kiddie glaucoma, don't ask me! I'm immune to just about everything.

Nathan

Most brutal album, huh? Ugh, I hate to say it, they're right! It's an amazing album! Congratulations Pickles. It's so chilling!

Murderface

What a great way to go out too! I only hope we can end that way! Clawing our eyes out, throwing up acid blood!

Toki

I officially take backs whatever I said about Snakes 'N' Barrels. You're amazing!

Skwisgaar

This music is likes potato chips. I can't stops listening to it! Plays it again!

Pickles

Alright.

Oh no. My gu-girdle-itar is choking my tummy and my guts which is where my brains are.

Sammy

Oh, my God! There's little Civil War soldiers looking for my skin.

I'm aware of my tongue..

Get it off me!

Sammy

Oh no, I am also aware of my tongue.

[screaming] I'm a chicken. I believe I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a, I'm a chicken. I believe I am a chicken.

Pickles the Drummer

Ohh, [beer cans and bottles are heard clattering] I am gonna be well-burned, SHUT UP! Dammit! Dammit Stop! Shut Up! Shut up you crappy alarm! [alarm stops, Pickles clicks on a lamp to reveal many people in his room]

OH YEAH PICKLES! PICKLES WAKES UP JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

Pickles

[shrieking] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?! [fan ignores him and continues yelling] Oh god, I forgot... I hate fan day!

An official statement from Dethklok calls this "A psychotic day of insane celebration for regular jack-offs.".