Marin Frist quotes from Men in Trees

Marin

Travel is good for the soul. It opens your eyes. Takes your mind and body to new places. But what about the people who stay behind. How can we trust that you won't be seduced by these new sights and sounds. If you set something you love free, can you really trust that it will come back to you?

Marin

Humans are born with the desire to roam the earth. We crawl, then walk, then run, all in an effort to move further away from where they came from... home. I know firsthand the thrill of what changing one's surroundings can do for one's heart, and now I also know that sometimes staying home and letting others go can be its own fantastic journey. Because when you let go of something, you make room for something else entirely, something you never expected, something that makes "home" seem like its own unexpected adventure... A trip where new treasures are found around every old corner, for the world and all its complexities come right to your doorstep. Because, in the end, the power is not just with those who go away, but also in what they leave behind.

Marin

Opening your door to someone is, in many ways, a lot like opening your heart. It's not always easy. Some of us aren't used to opening up. It can hurt. But we do what we can for our guests. We try to be hospitable, giving them whatever they desire. Sometimes, all you can do is help them feel better while they wait to return home. And soon enough, the guest is gone, leaving us to move the couch, do the laundry, go back to our lives as usual, if that's possible.

Marin

It seems that everyone is taking in a guest these days. It's a tricky thing, sharing your space whether by choice or circumstance. We all want to bend over backwards to make our guest feel at home but what happens when our home stops being our own? How do you find space for yourself? You tell me, Elmo, is it possible to let someone in and still keep your distance?

Marin

The mind is a funny thing. It's the place from which everything emanates yet no one can access anyone else's which means we've got to communicate. With animals, we use only the most straightforward language…but, between one another, things quickly get complicated. What we say is not always what we mean. And, at times, we have to fight through mixed messages or start all over again. But, no matter how hard it is and how often we feel misunderstood, it is our responsibility to keep fighting for clarity because, in the end, we teach people how to treat us, which means the responsibility to communicate lies not on the shoulders of others but on ourselves.

Marin

Hey Elmo! Annie and I were talking about matters of the heart. We all have emotional boundaries that we set for ourselves but, all too often, we cross them. With authority and repetition, we can train animals to think and act a certain way. What about when it comes to ourselves? Can we train our emotions to sit and stay?

Marin

There's an old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you." But is that really true? Or can the things not said today haunt you tomorrow? Everyone knows the truth can be painful. But it can also set you free. It's a risk you take whenever you open yourself up to someone. I, for one, think that honesty is worth it. And who knows? You just might be pleasantly surprised.

Marin

Hey, Elmo! Before we get started today, I want to wish a warm "welcome home" to Patrick. A lot has happened since he left. We all know how unsettling change can sometimes be, especially when we learn something about a person we don't want to know. Can knowing too much be a deal breaker? What do you think, Elmo? In a relationship, is it better to be an open book or is something better left unread?

Marin

We are the daughters of the feminist movement, taught from an early age that nothing can stop us, that we can rise as high and achieve as much as any man. And in some ways that's true. We have taken great strides, stepping over traditional gender roles, and going after and getting exactly what we want but part of being powerful is knowing when to take the backseat and look at life from another perspective. Because the thing is, in a relationship, there is no C.E.O. It's a delicate dance, a push and pull, a back and forth, an up and down. But we endure because, at the end of the day, we don't want to go it alone and, when we find someone, a partner, we compromise, loving everything we can and putting blinders onto everything else because love isn't perfect. But it's the really great and perfect love that keeps us evolving, happy. And, in the end, isn't that what life is all about?

Marin

Hey, Elmo. My friend Patrick and I were just talking power dynamics. From the earliest age, we grew up with them – parent/child, teacher/student – but, as we get older, relationships become more complicated, less easily defined. We would like to imagine equality amongst friends, with spouses. But are we just fooling ourselves? You tell me, Elmo, in the dance of life, is it possible to have two equal partners or does someone always have to take the lead?

Marin Frist

Here I've been telling single women to go to sports bars. I should've been telling them to go to Alaska.

Yeah, well, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Marin

What is this?

Jack Slattery

Observation hut.

Marin

What are you observing?

Jack

I was looking for a nocturnal bear, but instead I found a relationship coach.

Marin

Almost as dangerous.

Patrick O'Bachelorton

...Patrick wheels out an old 3-speed bike towards Marin...

Patrick

The front brakes don't work. And you'll need this.

Patrick

...He pulls out a canister and hands it to Marin...

Patrick

Bear spray.

Marin

...Marin reacts, then sprays it all over herself like hair spray or perfume...

Patrick

Actually, you spray it on the bear. But that'll work.

Jack

I'm not exactly sure what kind of date you're expecting for $13,000, but I was thinking picnic.

Marin

Oh, that sounds sweet, but I actually have some other ideas.

Jack

Okay. What do you got in mind?

Marin

Let's start with the bed.

Jack

The--the bed?

Marin

Could you uh, move it...back against the wall?

Patrick

Personally, I don't think you need all that therapy. You're not crazy.

Marin

[Marin doesn't answer]

Patrick

Are you?

Marin

[Marin shakes her head]