[referring to Violet, after she goes to her bedroom to change her clothes] So what's your guess? Actress? Singer?
DDetective Drake
Future stripper?
Yeah, my money's on all the above.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
If I'm eavesdropping correctly, you just scored yourself another date.
Hardly. It's drinks with a fellow intern.
Hot intern?
Married woman intern.
Yes, but is she hot?
[referring to Jane, Sydney's sister] Hey, what do you think of our new landlord?
Well, I can certainly see the family resemblance. She's got Syd's fangs.
Did you just tell me Violet is Sydney's daughter? I'm not a little fuzzy from my two rum and cokes?
They wanted to get to know each other better before they told people.
Riley, in our own little personal slasher flick here, this is the part where the audience stands up and starts screaming, "Um, hello? She's the killer!" [turns around and sees Violet]
Shouldn't you be bobbing for olives in your after-party martini?
Change of plans. I canceled the red carpet close-ups for Jane's dress.
Won't that be the shot heard around the courtyard?
It doesn't matter. After I spread the word that Abby Douglas hated her dress, Jane's samples won't be fit to mop floors.
Yeah. I don't know if that's gonna be enough to stop whatever she has planned for you. Let me take care of it.
You?
Yeah. Jane was married to my father. The skeletons won't take long to find. I'll bury her.
Wow. I don't think anyone's ever offered to destroy an enemy of mine before. David... That's almost... romantic.
Or we could say that it's all about the thrill of victory.
Go with romantic... [they kiss] Let's go work on that alibi.
I got the oddest e-mail from Jane. All's forgiven.
Really?
Uh-huh.
That was easy.
You know what could have changed her mind?
Maybe.
Wow. You weren't kidding about the toxic waste buried in your family history. Just so we're clear...
Mm?
What you did... amazing. But last night? Total one-off. [referring to their kiss]
Why? You can't tell me you didn't have a good time.
Oh, don't flatter yourself, David. I always have a good time.
[on camera for Ella's birthday video] Ella, I've known you for seven months now and you're one of my closest friends and, uh, I don't have a lot of close friends. I'd do anything for you. And I do mean anything. So, if you want to start your next year off with a bang, you know where I live.
I thought this was supposed to be PG.
Hey, I try my best.
You're so not speaking at our wedding.
[shows Dante Zaretti's mug shot to Ella] You know him?
Who doesn't? Dante Zaretti. P.I. to the stars.
Have you ever used his services?
Half of my clients are married to cheating, drug-abusing, tax-evading celebutards. I have five P.I.'s on speed dial. That's not a crime. Why am I here?
We're still trying to account for your timeline the night Sydney Andrews died.
Didn't we cover this?
Where were you?
Like I said the first time, I left Coal at midnight. And then I went home and spent the night molesting my neighbor, David Breck. It's okay, he's over 18.
[In a flashback of Ella's]
You embarrassed me.
Oh, well, hello to you, too, Syd. I have a conference call with New York, so...
I had another gallery showing last night, and only made one sale. No one showed up. Your publicity blitz was a complete and utter failure.
Come on. I wrangled more buyers through those doors than anybody at this company.
Well, they weren't there last night.
Syd, you are being unreasonable. I got you write-ups in the LA Times, The Weekly, even Vanity Fair. It is not my fault if nobody likes the art.
We had a deal. I turn you into a real publicist, and you promote my gallery. What am I supposed to tell my artists when they start pulling their work off the walls?
I don't know. Paint prettier pictures.
El, if I'm gonna be your alibi, I need to know the real story.
Okay. Only if you promise not to tell a soul.
I promise.
I mean it, David. You say anything, and I will tell everyone that behind all the Prada, you're really the prince of San Berdoo.
Cough it up, El. What are you hiding?
Okay. You want to know the truth? The night Sydney died... I slept with a client.
I'm sorry, what?
I slept with a client.
That's it? That's your big confession?
Well, it is when their high-profile wife is also a client. Look, if this hit the blogosphere, I'd get 15 minutes of fame and a lifetime of peddling In-N-Out burgers.
[referring to Dante] If we can confirm his story, you can bet your Burberry you'll be arrested for murder.
Well, that's one big "if", Detective. Good luck with that.
Oh, I'm not so sure I'm gonna need any luck. It's gonna feel real good when I get to tighten those handcuffs around those adorable little wrists of yours.
Aren't you late for your power cocktails with the velvet mafia pre-Laker game?
Oh, I got a half hour and a vested interest in women's trendy denim.
Or more like a vested interest in what's under Anton's hemp boxer briefs.
Hot, talented, successful... He's more than mere hookup material. I'd date him.
That is so cute.
So, how's the press kit coming along?
AAnton
[to Jonah, away from Ella and Caleb] No! Jonah, we need to see the details, okay?!
Oh, yes. I can do that.
Go. I'll take care of this. I mean, you don't want to be sober for tip-off.
Ella, keep Anton happy. Oh, and, uh... find out if he's dating anybody.
Ooh, I like it.
AAnton
[referring to Riley] That girl right there. She's beautiful. She's grounded. So real. She's perfect.
For what, monitoring a playground?
SSaffron
God, I love yachts. Makes me feel like I'm in the South of France.
This doesn't look like the South of France to me.
SSaffron
We can pretend, right? It's what we do. [referring to escort prostitution]
Anton V wants you to model for his new line.
What?
Okay, I've had a really long day, and I'm not in the mood to be mocked.
I... am as serious as a shoe sale at Barneys.
I don't understand. Anton knows I'm not a model.
And that is exactly why he wants you.
VViolet
[to Michael, at Coal] I invented a drink just for you. The M.D., because after you drink it, you're gonna need one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Melrose Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.