Mary Hartman quotes from Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

Mary

I saw a very sad episode on a soap opera today.

Oh, I saw it, too: The Horror of Our Days?

Mary

No, no. It was The Torment of Our Lives.

What channel is that on?

Mary

It's ABC.

Oh. That explains why I haven't seen it.

Mary

I'm, fine, Ma, I'm just fine. Tom went to work at the plant, I am here in the kitchen, and we said goodbye at the door.

Martha

But he was so upset, and you were so upset.

Mary

Ma, it is probably just the mineral wastes. You know? There is a lot of mineral waste in the water. You have to remember: these are the 1970s; we have to be thankful that we're just functioning.

Martha

I suppose.

Mary

You know what else I did? I did the dishes, I made my shopping list, I made my grocery list, I have Hamburger Helper, I have Tuna Helper, I have Helper Helper ….

Martha

But, Mary, do you really think they help? Because just look at you.

Mary

I'm not depressed, Ma. I managed to get out of bed, and I remembered that Loretta is about to be on TV. I mean, that, to me, is such a lift! I mean, that a neighbor of mine, a friend, has actually broken out of this rut!

I want to talk to you.

Mary

About what?

The truth.

Mary

No! Don't do that! I don't want to hear the truth. It confuses me. What truth?

Mary

My sister hates me, my daughter ignores me, and … my mother bugs me, and my husband can't communicate with me, and I just—. Why? I mean, why is this happening to me? Why?

Because you're not honest with yourself.

I've just come from a wonderful theosophy meeting.

Mary

Theosophy? Oh, is that a religion?

Well, it's more a way of life.

Mary

Oh, really? 'Cause I'm very interested in ways of life.

Oh! Well, maybe you'd like to come to a meeting with me sometime.

Mary

Well, I would, but just not for a while yet, 'cause right now I'm trying to figure out what went wrong with my way of life.