Charlie Haggers quotes from Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

Mae Olinski

Charlie, you can stop by the payroll office. I put your check through for your overtime.

Charlie Haggers

[yelps in delight and hugs Mae] Oh, that does it! That puts me over the top, and on chunky tuna day, too! There are some days where everything goes right. It's like my daddy said, it's better to be born lucky than good lookin'.

Mae Olinski

And you were born both.

Charlie Haggers

You know that demo we made last night is pure gold. Do you have any idea how much you can make from just one hit record?

George Shumway

No, I don't.

Charlie Haggers

Well, neither do I, but it's a lot. The hits are what count.

Tom Hartman

[half-asleep, mumbles] Hits, hits, the dodger hit fifty-six in a row then he married Marilyn Monroe, and that's the way they go.

George Shumway

Meet my son-in-law, Mr. Non-Poetry in Motion.

Charlie Haggers

[at the doctor's office] How come you gotta send the thing off to the lab?

Now there's the proof right there, y'see? The patient tries to play doctor and have all the answers and just winds up frightening himself.

Loretta Haggers

Herself. I'm a her.

Of course you are, and a very attractive her if I may say so.

Loretta Haggers

Thank you. I'm in show business.

But a her who should be home and taking it easy.

Charlie Haggers

Well, why should she be taking it easy if there's nothing to worry about?

[puffs a cigarette and coughs] "Cause doctor says.