First thing they teach you when you're a rookie shoe salesman is, when you got a fat one in the chair, never look up. Well, I looked up, Peg. I saw underwear. It said "Saturday."
So what?
[starts crying] Today's Wednesday.
“Wabbit Season” · Season 5, Episode 8
In this episode: Al Bundy (3), Peg (1), Peggy Bundy (1)
[singing to the tune of Old McDonald had a Farm] Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With a no wife here, and no kids there, a hooker coming in on Friday nights, big luscious hooters and a pizza and a beer there. Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.
I must have poured a million gallons of water down that hole. I flooded the whole block and every living thing in it. Now if that rabbit's still alive, I'm yours tonight.
[talking to the kids] You know, the sad thing is, I don't really want him. But, a promise is a promise.
Now look what you've done! You'll be screaming worse than me, I'll tell you! [as Peggy drags him into the house] I'll get you for this, I'll make you pay for this, I'm telling you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.