Fujiko quotes from Lupin III

I'd been meaning to ask you: How'd that flesh wound of yours heal up?

I'm as good as new.

Really? Ooh... [He takes a look between Fujiko's breasts] I'll just...

Lupin!

Whoooooa! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, noooooooo!

Hey, we've done all we can for the guy.

He's on this own this time.

Whoa, what's that? [Lupin speeds uncontrollably in his direction] Hey, wait a minute!

I can't stop!

It's Lupin! [He decides it's a good idea to run back in the other direction] Hey! Whoa!

Pops! Wait! Please help me!

Hey! Get away from me! [Zenigata runs down a hill shoulder with Lupin bouncing close behind] Get away from me! What are you doing? Let go of me!

Help! Help!

Call me superstitious, but next time you're thinking about that broad, don't actually say her name out loud, okay?

[from down below] Lupin!

Huh?

No!

Hey!

Don't say it!

It's Fujiko!

Aw, crap.

Will everything be... Well, you know, intent?

Ah, yes, I assume you refer to his hoo-hah.

[tossing the bubble maker up and down in her hand] So tell me, did you invent this, or did you steal it?

Well, I guess that depends on which one would really impress you.

I guess... I'd have to say if you invented it.

[leaning in for a kiss] Okay, then let's just say that I invented it, shall we?

[holding up the pin-like tracking device Lupin planted in her hair] Okay.

Then you can just make yourself a new one.

But, Fujiko...!

[mockingly] What? You didn't lie, did you?

Of course I diiiid!

Don't worry, Lupin! I'll catch you!

MOMMYYYYY!

Come on, Lupin, please just let him catch you this one time.

So, I guess this means we're going to be giving up together.

It does?

Sure! That's the power of love.

I, love you?

You see?

I'm not fooling around.

'Cause this is all you need.

You're gonna need a doctor.

[feeling like he's having to come between a pair of squabbling children] Just shut up, you two! Both of ya!

Chief! Fill me in! What have you got here?

Well, sir, we got a DOA [meaning "Dead on arrival"]. And we got his partners here waiting to be interrogated.

Hold on! Are you saying Lupin's deceased?! Do you think I was born yesterday or something?! Huh?! THE ONLY DUMMMY AROUND HERE IS THE DOA!

[scoffing] The old coffin gambit, Lupin? Come on, you big con artist. [He waves his handcuffs] Alright, open 'er up.

That's our guy!

No!

Hey, Lupin! Get up! Come on! Hey, Lupin! Cut it out, willya? Come on! [He shakes the thief's head] I'm not kiddin', Lupin! This isn't funny! [He starts crying] Damn it, Lupin! It can't be true!

Inspector, please, maybe you should control yourself.

[sobbing] You can't really be dead! I never told you this before, but I love you! What am I gonna do without you? You're my whole reason to live! How could you do this to me? I hate you! No, I don't! I don't! I'm sorry! [He rubs his tear-streaked face against Lupin's] Please don't leave me, Lupin!

[placing a comforting hand on Zenigata's shoulder] It's alright, Inspector.

Puma! I'll get you, you son of a bitch!

It should be wearing off by now.

And you're sure there's no chance he could have suffocated?

A body in this kind of suspended animation requires very little oxygen.

You'd better be right about that.

Mommy. [He yawns] What a nap.

Are you all right?

[sitting up with a rose in his hand and an amorous expression on his face] You tell me. [He leans in to kiss Fujiko, surreptitiously placing the flower into her shirt, and she slaps hm] Hey, what the hell kind of greeting is that? I mean, especially after that touching tribute that I gave you on my headstone.

[sarcastically] Yeah. Real romantic.

[forgetting part of his phone conversation with the mortician] Hey! That's just crass!

[as a storm rages on mount Onihime] No way to get up that mountain tonight. Only an idiot would dare to attempt it.

What the hell am I doing up here?! I'M SCARED OF THUNDER! I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!

Hard at work, I see. So, how's it going?

Not well at all.

Because you are not trying.

Hey, you're sitting there like a Buddha! I'm working my ass off!

Now, for the last time, do you want to know where Lupin is or not?

Of course. I flew all the way over here, didn't I? Start talking.

The Himalayas.

... The what?

Edelweiss, edelweiss, you look happy to greet me. Edel- uh, uh... [He sneezes]

Hey!! Fujiko!!

Lupin, I can't share it with you! I don't know if there's enough for two!

I don't want any! Do you know what it is?! Do you?!?

Yeah, an eternal youth potion of some kind. Why else would she want it?

You idiot! Kaguya had that created for her very sick husband! He's in a coma!

Yeah, it sucks being deceived like that, but at least it was all for a good cause.

Yes, well, perhaps that is true, but still, the act of betrayal by Fujiko was unforgivable and merits the very harshest punishment.

Here, here!

Lupin, I think he really means it!

She's sorry! Really! She's learned her lesson this time, haven't you, Fujicakes?

Uh...

It's not real harsh, maybe, but it sure as hell's funny.

[from outside] Lupin! Come on! I still can't sleep! Hey, come on! Wake up! Hey, Lupin! I'm bored!

Aw man, when the hell's this potion ever gonna wear off?

I know you're in there! Let me in! Let's go dancing!

Come on, Lupin!

[tipsy on bourbon] Come on, you knew we were drunks when you married us!

[also happily wasted on the bourbon] You know the truly great part? I don't care if I ever get better!

[smiling craftily] Don't you tempt fate. It can be cruel.