Jigen quotes from Lupin III

Leave this to me. You go get the girl.

ALIIICE!

LUPIIIN!

Slow down, would ya?

I can't!

What do you mean, you can't?

Hey, the friggin' brakes are out!

See?

What? Well, don't just tap 'em!

I'm not just tapping! Look!

Then how come it's not stopping?

Because... the brakes... ARE OUT!

Call me superstitious, but next time you're thinking about that broad, don't actually say her name out loud, okay?

[from down below] Lupin!

Huh?

No!

Hey!

Don't say it!

It's Fujiko!

Aw, crap.

Zenigata, with Interpol. Would you give me a lift?

Ja, sure.

I'm beat. [He gets in] It's ten o'clock. Why is it still light out?

We have a thing here called the midnight sun, and it...

THAT WAS RHETORICAL! THE POINT IS, I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A WEEK!

Ah, well. Here, try this eye mask.

Oh, yeah? Huh. [He ties it around his face, then yawns]

[not realizing Zenigata is already asleep] I'm guessing you got some tip about Mr. Lupin.

[startled] ARGH! WHERE? DAMN! LUPIN! [He holds up his hands] Whoa! I can't see! What's goin' on?! Hey! Is it... the apocalypse?

It's just the eye mask. You're fine.

[sheepishly] Uh... I knew that. [He looks out the back window] Damn midnight sun's a menace!

So, what's Lupin doing here?

Well, it isn't really that clear yet. Could be, he's trying to make his way to the North Pole. Yep, it's the closest place to the old midnight sun this time of the year. He'll blast off in a rocket ship and steal it, I tell ya. I just figured it out. He's gonna steal the sun, mama, so he can get away with everything. [The officers exchange confused glances] But I'm not gonna care at all, 'cause it's gonna be... so dark.

Is that Pops in the back seat, blindfolded?

Sure looks like it. Poor guy just can't seem to catch a break.

Hi. How's it going, guys? Mind if I borrow your lighter for a second?

There's no smoking in our town.

[reaching in through the back window] Ah. It slipped my mind.

Hey! Wait a minute! Lupin did it! Seen that everything's all dark!

Inspector, take off your mask.

I didn't... talk in my sleep or anything, did I?

[as Zenigata rubs his eyes] Not a word.

So then, what's the plan?

What the hell do you think? Plunder.

Because?

Huh?

Just think of the consequences if we didn't do it. One of those girls is going to die, and do you want that on your conscience? I know I don't and... Uh, well...

Go on.

And because... it's what we do.

Uh, yeah.

Hey! Wait, I ... [The officers throw him into cell with Jigen and Goemon] Ow.

Yo, Pops!

Yo yourself, you damn bastard! I oughta...

What the... hey!

What the hell kind of a partner are you anyway? How could you just let him go and die like that?!

Oh, come on, guys! This is the pits, literally. I mean it's starting to smell like Pavarotti's armpits in here.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that, pal, but when it comes to vampires, I don't take any chances.

I mean, I know your family's been Shinto for like ten generations...

Longer.

But that doesn't mean crap to a vampire.

You know, there's something very offensive about that.

Wait a minute, Lupin, you were bitten by that bitch, weren't you?

Something... [He takes off his fake neck] ... just happened to come between us.

But a loon like that, I mean, this treasure could turn out to be a bunch of sumo wrestler bobblehead dolls or a big ball of tinfoil, y'know?

It's possible. But it's said that among his possessions was a sword, called Tsukikagemaru.

I have no idea what that means, Jigen...

I just explained that to you, it's a sword!

... But it sounds important to him, so whaddya say?

Hey, don't blow a gasket there, Pops!

I'll blow whatever the hell I want to! [He gets hit in the head by a falling gold coin. He catches it in his hands as he lies on the ground] Hey, wow!

[pouting] Aww... it's just not fair.

Nice little streak, but all good things come to an end.

Well, if the end I'd be coming to is yours, then hey, count me in.

Hey, so what happened with the whole retreaty fasting thing?

Uh, well, I got hungry, and... Hey, I'm stuck out here. Could you give me a lift?

Hop in. I'm in sort of a hurry.

Yeah, it sucks being deceived like that, but at least it was all for a good cause.

Yes, well, perhaps that is true, but still, the act of betrayal by Fujiko was unforgivable and merits the very harshest punishment.

Here, here!

Lupin, I think he really means it!

She's sorry! Really! She's learned her lesson this time, haven't you, Fujicakes?

Uh...

It's not real harsh, maybe, but it sure as hell's funny.

Friggin' birds can't get close to that thing, and I don't think I can pull off the backless look, either. I mean, not that it doesn't look absolutely stunning on you or anything, but it does take a certain androgynous quality, you know?

I swear, I'll beat you with your own hat. [Jigen laughs]

Man, sure could have used Goemon's Zantetsu sword this time, huh?

Hmm?

I said, Goemon's sword would have come in handy!

Huh?

I know, it's a bummer, but it's no use crying over spilled milk. We just gotta...

Lupin! You'd better get up here!