Where have you been?
Ah, you know me—busy, busy, No rest for the wicked.
Right. 'Cause deviant foreplay is so time-consuming.
Want to watch?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
MGMalcolm Graham
Just wanted to do my part for the man of the hour. [winks at Lucifer]
It's the wink with the porn 'stache sending the wrong message, I think.
What happened?
Well…where do I begin? With the grandest fall in the history of time? Or perhaps the far more agonizing punishment that followed? To be blamed for every morsel of evil humanity's endured, every atrocity committed in my name? As though I wanted people to suffer. All I ever wanted was to be my own man here. To be judged for my own doing. And for that? I've been shown how truly powerless I am. That even the people trusted—the one person, you—could be used to hurt me.
Come on, you can't say this isn't the best sex you've ever had. Well, it is the only sex you've ever had, but still.
If that's supposed to be an offering to me, I decline on grounds of salmonella.
So how's this? Step one, travel back in time and not make such a mess of things.
You know, I'm suddenly reminded of why I wanted you dead in the first place.
Just pretend you don't know Lucifer.
I already like it.
Look, I know you think I'm a bad guy, but I'm simply trying to catch our dear friend Malcolm…so I can tear his arms and legs off.
Don't move or 'wobbly head' gets it.
[critically wounded, Lucifer tries praying to his father for help]
I don't know if this is all part of the plan. Or if You can even hear me. But if You're up there…Dad…I need a favor. I'll be the son You always wanted me to be. I'll do as You ask. Go where You want me to. I…In exchange, all I ask is…is that You protect Chloe.
[last lines of the season: Lucifer tells Amenadiel about what he saw in his brief return to Hell]
I spoke to Dad.
Excuse me?
Yeah. I offered Him my services in exchange f— Well, that really doesn't matter. He accepted.
AAmendaiel
He replied to you.
Well, not in words, but His message was clear.
And what does Father want?
Someone's escaped from Hell. Must've seen a window of opportunity whilst you were incapacitated. I think He wants me to bring our jailbird back.
That's it? Well, it shouldn't be too hard to track down a single errant soul. [he chuckles, but stops when he notices Lucifer nervously tapping his drink glass] You're afraid.
Damn right I am.
Right, but you're never afraid. Who could possibly scare you, brother? [beat] Lucifer…who escaped Hell?
Mum.
Luci, you don't think she helped Mom escape, do you?
Well, that doesn't sound like the kind of evil, duplicitous thing a demon would do, now, does it?
There's so much punishment, so little time.
Ah, well, there's no reason to thank me for my heroism. Well, maybe just a little. No one's stopping you.
They had sex. The only trouble was, they were celestial beings, so that moment created the universe.
Mm, the Big Bang?
Never knew how appropriate the name was until now, did you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.