Hurley Reyes quotes from Lost

Hurley

So, Arnzt.

Arzt

No. Not Arnzt. Arzt. A-R-Z-T.

Hurley

Sorry, man. Your name's hard to pronounce.

Arzt

Well, I know a bunch of ninth graders who pronounce it just fine.

Hurley

How 'bout I just call you by your first name?

Arzt

How 'bout you don't?

Hurley

Why not? I remember it from the plane's manifest. I think Leslie's a bitchin' name.

Arzt

Arnzt is fine.

Arzt

Did you hear about the guy who invented nitroglycerin? Probably not because he blew his freakin' face off! Nitroglycerin is the most unstable substance known to man. It is extremely temperamental so you have to be..

Hurley

Dude...

Hurley

How exactly does something like this happen?

Danielle

Are you on the same island as I am?

Hurley

(frightened, whispering to himself) 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.. 4, 8 we're dead 15 doomed and dead 16 23..

Kate

Hurley, are you okay?

Hurley

Oh, yeah, awesome. I just have to pee. (Kate moves to the hatch) Great idea, dude, go over to the burning death hole.

Hurley

What's that thing where doctors make you feel better just by talking to you?

Jack

Bedside manner?

Hurley

Yeah, that. Yours sucks, dude.

Jin

[in English] Hi there, Hurley.

Hurley

Jin, you're here.

Jin

That's right.

Hurley

Dude, you speak English!

Jin

No, you're speaking Korean.

Hurley

[in Korean] I am? [A man in a chicken costume appears next to Jin.] What's he doing here?

Jin

Everything's going to change.

Hurley

What?

Jin

Everything's going to change. Have a cluckity cluck-cluck day, Hugo.

[female voice] Hurley!

The only time you move is to lift a drumstick out of the bucket. Every day is the same thing, Hugo: work, TV, chicken. You have to change your life, Hugo. You think someone else will do it for you? Maybe if you pray every day, Jesus Christ will come down from heaven, take two hundred pounds, and bring you a decent woman and a new car. Yes -- Jesus can bring you a new car!

Hurley

Maybe I don't wanna change. Maybe I like my life.

Carmen

Oh! That must be Jesus! [she leaves the room and answers the phone] Hola? Momento. [shouting to Hurley] It is Jesus! He wants to know what color car you want!

Locke

Change is good, Hugo.

Hurley

You know? People say that, but it's not true man. Trust me, I know. And guess who gets to be the bad guy? Who has to say 'No you can't have peanut butter for the cute blonde and her...poor...island baby? You know who? It's me!

Hurley

So what do you think is the story with that Libby chick?

Charlie

Story?

Hurley

She's kind of cute, right? You know, in an I've-been-terrorized-by-the-Others-for-forty-days kind of way?

Charlie

Yeah, there is that.

Hurley

I think I have a chance with her. I mean, it's a classic desert island scenario.

Libby

That's a lot of peanut butter.

Hurley

Well, I'm going to need a lot of protein where I'm going.

Libby

And where are you going?

Hurley

Back to the caves. No one lives there now. So I won't bother anybody. I'm going to live alone and be one of those guys. You know the crazy guys, with no clothes, and the big beard... who's naked and throws doodie at people.

Hurley

I like that I have a good relationship with my mom. I like making my Grandpa Tito laugh. I like... chicken

Well, that last one wasn't about you, Hugo.

Hurley

I like that I like chicken?

Hurley

Did either of you see a guy run through here...in a bathrobe...with a coconut?

Charlie

No... I saw a polar bear on rollerblades with a mango.

Hurley

Did that bird just say my name?

Sawyer

Yeah it did, right before it crapped gold.

Hurley

Bear? Is that you? Who's there?

Desmond

You alone, brother?

Hurley

Uh, yeah.

Hurley

[seeing that Desmond's naked] Whoa! Dude! I'm not alone.

Desmond

Beach camp's right over there. Can you get me some clothes?

Hurley

What happened to yours?

Desmond

I woke up in the jungle like this.

Hurley

So, like, the hatch blew off your underwear?

Desmond

Fine, you want to discuss this in great detail right now? Let's do it.

Hurley

No, no, that's okay. I've got something in here. How do you feel about tie-dye?

Hurley

Dude, I don't know about this.

Charlie

See, you're looking at this all wrong. He would want us to do this.

Hurley

He'd want us to ransack his tent and take his stash? Yeah, that sounds exactly like Sawyer.

Charlie

Well, he stole all this in the first place. I mean, people need food, they need medical supplies, they need... [Finds adult magazines] ...shocking amounts of pornography.