[First lines of the series]
Oh, my God! Why are you shaking your nalgas for the whole world to see?
I'm connecting with other women who have daddy issues.
Oh, I'm sure you'll connect with some daddies on there too.
“Pilot” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: George Lopez (3), Mayan Lopez (3)
No domestic beer for you, Oscar. My best friend deserves only the best imported.
OOscar
Thanks, man. Hey, you know what would be even better, though?
If we were high.
OOscar
How'd you know I was gonna say that?
'Cause you said the same thing this morning, then we got high.
OOscar
Hey, take it easy. Some of us are high.
Sorry, there's an entitled white lady at work.
OOscar
Just one?
One is all you need to ground a Delta flight.
She treats us all like crap.
Sounds like you need to show her the Lopez way.
Please, don't start.
It's a foolproof method. It's even how your mom and I fell in love. On our first date, we made the waiter cry.
That's not something to be proud of.
[Mayan Lopez destroys the wall with a hammer.]
Freaking bitches! (breathing heavily)
Wow!
Oh, man. I didn't know I had that in me. I guess I got that from you.
You didn't get that throwing the hammer down thing from me. You got it from your mom. Ta loca. I'm scared of you. Put that in the truck.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lopez vs Lopez pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.