George Lopez, Oscar and others in “Pilot”

No domestic beer for you, Oscar. My best friend deserves only the best imported.

Thanks, man. Hey, you know what would be even better, though?

If we were high.

How'd you know I was gonna say that?

'Cause you said the same thing this morning, then we got high.

Hey, take it easy. Some of us are high.

Sorry, there's an entitled white lady at work.

Just one?

One is all you need to ground a Delta flight.

She treats us all like crap.

Sounds like you need to show her the Lopez way.

Please, don't start.

It's a foolproof method. It's even how your mom and I fell in love. On our first date, we made the waiter cry.

That's not something to be proud of.