[ausculting Mother Hamoudi] You're fine! We could fox-trot to the beat of your heart! [pause] I have been watching way too much Dancing with the Stars lately.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Don't make us give you your notice.
Baber, you're forgetting: we're the tenants, he's the landlord.
I told her [he would not marry Samira]... And then she had a mild heart attack.
Then tell her again and finish the job!
How long are you going to sleep in my office?
Until Yasser stand up to his mother.
Good thing I'm running for a third term.
JJoe
I heard you were planning a demonstration on Sunday.
Yes. Against the abomination.
JJoe
Oh. I thought it was...
Yes, against gay marriage. I just... like to say "abomination"!
Are you sorry you doubted me?
No, sometimes I'm sorry I married you.
JJeff
[a firefighter] You save lives too.
True. But you make house calls.
As Allah is my witness, I have no imagination! None!
What kind of normal person has any interest in Islam?
You mean besides us Muslims, dad?
So you're saying... They were actually... Holding hands?
I wasn't saying it. I was yelling it!
Layla must be protected from the influence of this... Pop tart!
That's because there's nothing wrong with you!
JJeff
I know. I just wanted to see you again.
Okay, there is something wrong with you.
My father is sending me to an islamic school to become an islamobot!
You're an impossible man!
I am entirely possible!
A man is not allowed to touch a Muslim woman unless he is her brother, her father or her husband.
JJeff
Not even if she needs mouth-to-mouth?
You keep your mouth away from her.
JJeff
She'd be unconscious.
You'd kiss an unconscious woman?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Little Mosque on the Prairie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.