[After Gene pummels and hurls a journalist aside]
Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, Guv?
S2 E1Helpless
[Regarding Gene Hunt]
You're a lucky man, Tyler. You've got the best here.
[Heavy sarcasm] I weep with happiness every morning, sir.
I'm saying it to all divisions; city needs to feel safe, Gene. Point is, this is under the glare, so let's make it clean and let's make it count, yes?
Would that be... 'by the book', sir?
Yes, that's it - by the jolly old book.
[To Gene, smugly] Let's get this party started.
Oh, you're gonna bang heads? Let joy be unconfined.
[to Ray Carling whom he had demoted a few months ago]
Good work, Raymondo. I'm bumping you back up to DS... only this time make it stand for Detective Sergeant and not Dog Shit!
We pull him in, we put the squeeze on him. Why is that so hard for you to agree to?
Because I am policing in the full glare of the public bloody eye, and the Chief Super is taking a personal interest and we also have no flipping evidence! And I can't believe I just said that!
Boss? Bloody hell, you look like something out of the Addams Family.
Up all night.
Oh aye. What was her name?
Migraine.
German bird?
We need to nail this fast.
So, we preserve the scene. We dust for prints
[Interrupting] You've seen it out there, Sam. People are scared. Pull in someone from the "we don't like you" list. We put their prints on the hammer, charge 'em, whip it past the beak. There's loads of scum out there deserve another spell inside. It'll buy us more time.
Look Guv, you wanna wear the Sheriff's badge? Well it comes with responsibilities; thorough, and by-the-book!
Cobblers! The public don't care what we do, just that we get the job done!
Too right, you don't want a mirror at the dentist do you?
Oh my Lord. Take a look at this.
[A line of policemen wearing washing up gloves and Sam Tyler instructing them]
Okay, fingertip search. Off you go, lads. Like I showed you. In a line, slowly. In a line!
[singing] Now, hands that do dishes can feel [Chris and two other policemen join in] soft as your face -
PPoliceman
Piss off!
RCRay Carling, Chris Skelton and two other police officers
With mild green Fairy Liquid.
Tell 'em to bring a big-
(Correcting him) Bastard-big
-Bastard-big sedative.
S2 E2The Safe-Cracker
I'd hate to end up in prison.
Not very likely, is it Chris?
What if I was wrongly accused of killing my wife like David Janssen in The Fugitive?
You mean Harrison Ford.
No I don't.
CChris
Dickie's famous for getting caught in Alicante.
Flagrante, Chris, in flagrante
He would be my nemesis, if he could spell it!
DGDCI Gene Hunt
A villain farts in this city, our snouts should be able to name the arse responsible.
Chris, round up everyone you can get your hands on. Ray, wake up and get a van. Cartwright, stick some lipstick on. There's a blag on at Raxton Street Post Office in an hour. I want the lot of you in there and undercover! We're gonna catch these bastards with their fingers in the till!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Life on Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.