Sophie quotes from Leverage

Parker

Where's Nate?

Sophie

Playing chess.

Parker

Again?

Sophie

Always.

Sophie

So, what, the salt was plan B?

No, no, that's, ah, that's plan M.

Don't I die in plan M?

Yeah, usually.

What you mean, usually? How many plans do I die in?

C, F, and M through Q.

C, that's a little close to home, man. You need to switch that up. How many plans does Eliot die in?

None. And [pointing to Parker] none. And [pointing to Sophie]...nnehh. There is a plan where he [Eliot] comes out of it with a scar from the temple through the eye all the way down to his mouth--

Parker

Ooh! You'd look so cool with a scar!

Sophie

Wait, wait, wait, go back, hold on, let's rewind--you skipped past me! You skipped past me.

Well, I have one, there is a plan, but it's evolving.

Sophie

Okay, that's creepy. Don't you think that's creepy? He's planning my death.

Sophie

No, I wouldn't say that my acting career fizzled, I just...I just put it on hold to pursue other things.

But he implied it might have something to do with ageism.

No, no, no, this. No, no, guys.

Sophie

Oh, come on. Your father had a poker game for 30 years. Police, criminals at the same table. This is good for you.

(laughs) Yeah, yes, I want to be like my father. Good insight, Sophie.

Parker

You remember Peggy from that jury duty job? Technically, she’s Alice’s friend, but --

You’re Alice.

You’re Alice, actually.

Parker

She moved here from Boston last year so we've been doing brunch and other normal people stuff.

Sophie

And we're very proud of you.

Parker

Well, brunch isn't hard. I mean, there are forks.

Parker

You know that thing you do when you fix whatever I'm doing wrong?

Sophie

You mean advice?

Parker

Umm hmm.

Parker

Wait, you haven't fixed me yet!

Tara

(holds up a badge) Secret service alias. I’m here to protect high-level dignitaries. I’ll bring you in as my deputy.

Sophie

You’re serious? I don’t think so.

Tara

Suit yourself.

Thank you, special agent.

Sophie

Agency sent me.

Tara

Russian escort? So three years ago.

Sophie

Hey, you want I call Yuri from downstairs? He was Golden Glove boxer. Now go! Go!

Tara

Why so harsh?

Tara

So much for a night of unbridled debauchery.

Sophie

Oh, boo-hoo. Just last Wednesday, you were sipping champagne on a G4 with a racing car driver.

Tara

Yes, who thinks I'm heir to the Pillsbury fortune. Any guess how long that'll last?

Sophie

Whatever happened to the nice chef in Lyon with the fabulous silver hair?

Tara

Oh, no. He thinks I'm a professional golfer, or banker, I keep forgetting. I got so many lies, I have to store them on my phone.

Sophie

The lament of the grifter. Who really knows us?

Tara

You start a fire in the kitchen, I grab the briefcase, we use the crowd for cover.

Sophie

I was thinking of something a little less...trample-y?

Sophie

How do we disarm it?

Tara

You're asking me?

Sophie

You were in the Army.

Tara

You stole paintings. That doesn't mean you know how to draw.

What? I'm busy!

Sophie

Look, I just sent you a picture.

Oh, let me guess, it's a picture of another handsome dude. [looks] Okay, it's a bomb! Umm. whooo...

Sophie

Yes, it's a bomb. Now just stop playing with that dog and help us!.

Alice, yeah, it’s okay. You were just looking out for me. And now I know your secret.

Parker

You do?

Yeah. (whispers) You’re a spy.

Parker

Mm. That’s right. I am a spy.

Sophie

What a relief.

Parker

Whew. And that is why I cannot tell you anything else about what I do.

Sophie

Mnh-mnh. National security.

Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. I get it.

Sophie

Listen, Parker. I wanted to apologize about giving you the cold shoulder about Hardison earlier.

Parker

Oh, that’s okay. I think I figured it out.

Sophie

You did?

Parker

Yeah. I mean, I was worried at first, ‘cause Hardison and I are different, the stuff we like. But I just spent all night with Mattingly, a guy who likes all the same stuff I do. And you know what? It would have been more fun with Hardison. So I guess the same is boring.

Go ahead, say it. Go ahead.

Sophie

I-I’m just saying--

Saying what?

Sophie

--he loves her.

Oh, come on. Men like that treat people like possessions. You should know that.

Sophie

Oh, just because he’s rich doesn’t mean he’s heartless.

Of all people, you’re actually --

Sophie

He was wrecked. You don’t have a romantic bone in your body.

Oh, really?

Sophie

And you’re one to laugh. You don’t even bother to learn their names. They’re just waitress, nurse, stewardess.

Eliot

First of all, it’s flight attendant, all right? They don’t like being called stewardess. And, second, I know their names.

Sophie

What?

What?

Parker

Three-way fight?

They were married less than a month later.

Sophie

See, love at first sight.

Eliot

Yeah, she wanted to get hitched before the background check came through.