A character in Leverage
Played by Christian Kane
Leverage · 1,001 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Leverage: in 325 of its 1,001 quotes
Most scenes with: Hardison (179), Nate (128), Parker (125)
EliotI hate to say it, but you know who we could really use--
Don't even say his name. I don't want it spoken aloud.
Target's on the 30th floor. You don't really expect us to--
[Team heads up the stairs, eventually reaching the 30th floor]
EliotGreat. Another key card.
I'm gonna kill him.
Not if I get to him first
[Parker blows through the door to get in]
Hello? Hey, hey, hey! Hey, guys. W-What's up?
Where are you?
I'm at the office. What happened--there was a thing--my electricity went out.
EliotI swear, when I see you--
My electricity, man--
These people killed a kid, all right? They killed a bunch of kids. There's no way in hell we're gonna let them get away with it. We are going to get on that flight.
EliotAll right.
[open the door to the hall to find Parker waiting]
So, what are we waiting for?
EliotHow does she do this?
I don't even ask anymore.
EliotHardison, I don't need a ticket. I got an Air Marshal badge.
What if there's already a Marshal on the plane?
EliotThere's only one Air Marshal per every 100 flights.
Ooh, I know that's good for us, but I so wish I didn't know that.
[Parker is posing as a flight attendant after stealing a bag from the original woman assigned to the flight.]
[To Nate and Eliot] How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?
Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectedly.
EliotOr if something happens to the one they're already wearing.
How does everyone know that?
[In unison]
Worked airport security.
EliotSlept with a flight attendant.
So we should focus on carry-on. No one checks bags full of cash.
Might not be cash.
EliotWhat's it gonna be, Parker? Gold bars? They don't exactly travel well.
No, Parker's right. We could be looking at traveler's checks or bearer bonds...anything that packs light.
How would they do it?
EliotEasiest way? Take 'em out in transit.
You mean bring down the plane they're on?
[Everyone looks at her pointedly]
You mean bring down the plane we're on?
Yeah.
EliotWhere the hell is he at?
Maybe he overslept.
EliotNo. He doesn't oversleep. This guy sets an alarm to set his alarm.
"A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure."
Huh?
I had fortune cookies for breakfast.
[Nate walks in]
Okay, run it.
So, what, you had left-over Chinese for breakfast?
No, just the cookies.
Do you put milk on the fortune cookies? ‘Cause I don’t...
It's not cereal. It's a fortune cookie. You don't dunk it.
[After catching Parker when she jumps out of a window]
EliotHow about a little warning next time? How'd you even know I'd be there?
I didn't.
All right, Sophie, do not take the check.
What?!
EliotWhat?!
I’m sorry, what?
Now, don't tell me this makes you squeamish, 'cause it's all legal. I just found a...a loophole.
I said, "do not take the money."
[Sophie rips the check in half, Dennis is shocked]
Now, you tell him this.
If what you're saying is you want to do real business, then I might have an opportunity for you, but it's for serious investors only. This is not something I would ever present to your brother.
Interesting.
We're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics.
The "London Spank"?
The "Genevan Paso Doblé"?
EliotThe "Apple Pie"?
[everyone stares at him in confusion]
EliotIt's like The "Cherry Pie", but with lifeguards.
[savoring the thought] Ooh.
[announcing the actual con they'll be doing] The "Glengarry Glen Death". It's like mutual fund, but instead of stocks, you invest in, in death. [Walks out to the balcony]
Is it me or is he getting creepier?
[after losing to Eliot twice in Rock, Paper, Scissors] Well, I’ll be damned. How do you do that?
EliotYou have a tell.
I—I have a tell…
EliotYeah.
In Rock, Paper, Scissors...
EliotYeah. Go!
Guys, you got to trust me, all right? You've trusted me before, and with your life.
Eliot[slams his hand down on the table] Not when you're drunk.
Oh, come on.
EliotYou're not in control of yourself.
So, what, you're gonna control me? Is that it?
EliotAh, I ain't your daddy. You can drink yourself into a coma as far as I’m concerned, but you take me down with you--then it's my problem.
You know, you talk too much. You ought to just go skip some rope.
EliotWhat? What? [gets up angrily]
Skip some rope.
EliotYou want me to skip something? [heads across the room]
Hey, hey! [gets in front of Eliot]
EliotI'll skip your drunk ass off this marble floor.
Don't get mad, but...I may have spilled slushie in your car.
EliotThat's like forty-four ounces, Hardison!
It's not that much...
EliotThe lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man!
Wow. You are...
EliotIt's running into the backseat!
Very dramatic.
EliotWhen we get back to the office, you're cleaning this up.
Seriously? [Spots Jack leaving the bar]
EliotYou're cleaning this up as soon as we get back!
That's our guy, right there.
EliotI'm not--don't try to change the subject!
Really? I almost had it in me to wash this car. Almost.
EliotTen bucks says you're washing the car.
I know it ain’t
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
