A character in Leverage
Played by Christian Kane
Leverage · 1,001 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Leverage: in 325 of its 1,001 quotes
Most scenes with: Hardison (179), Nate (128), Parker (125)
EliotHow do we even know this kid is an orphan?
See him pocketing those cookies? He’s hoarding food. That bag on the table--he keeps his essentials light and portable. He knows he's gonna be taken away at any moment. And there, when she goes to touch him, he flinches. He’s expecting...for her to...Trust me. He’s an orphan.
EliotThis would be easier if you were in here.
Well, we would be if Sophie weren't already old friends with the ambassador.
I wouldn't say "old" friends exactly.
[Flashback, Sophie, under a guise, receiving a check worth $355,000.00 from the US ambassador]
The United States is pleased to make the first payment for construction of the trans-Ukrainian pipeline to her Royal Highness, Princess Magda of Slovenia.
[End Flashback]
[Smiling] I still have that tiara, though.
Now anchor the emotion. Raise the champagne flute to your lips.
[Eliot touches his glass to Irina’s]
EliotCheers.
Take a nice, long sip. And now every time she laughs or smiles, repeat that motion. She’s gonna link that to a nice, warm feeling. You can use that later.
That, uh, drink thing. You’ve never used that on me, have you?
[takes a drink of her soda] I would never.
Of course not.
EliotShe [Sophie] can't act!
Oh, she can act. When it's an act.
Chechen separatists. Seriously bad dudes. (Eliot chuckles) After reading their bios, I don't think I’m ever gonna sleep again.
EliotNever tell a Chechen his sister has a nice smile. Trust me.
Just take the mob out of it.
What? Take the mob out of it?
Hear me out. Isn't this just a breach of contract?
EliotThese guys had a deal, right? And your boy, Ray, he lived up to his end, but Moscone didn't. And for that, there's not a court of law in this world this lady can go to.
Which is exactly the kind of case we take.
Oh, come on. I don't--why Teresa?
I don't know. Well, her man's gone to jail for fifteen years, and she's waiting for him. For fifteen years. Do you have any idea how hard it is, to wait for someone?
Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay, let’s go rob Nicky Moscone, a guy who kills people and lives in our city. Yeah, let's do that.
All you have to do is rip them on my flash drive and run.
EliotI don't have to type anything, right?
No, just plug it in. It does the rest.
EliotAll right, 'cause you know I just learned the Photoshop thing you told me.
I-I know. Baby steps.
EliotSo I just plug it in.
[Eliot walks into the server room, only to discover that the audio is on cassette tapes]
Now, audio files, they can take a little while to run, but, uh, the servers are pretty loud, so that should give you some cover.
EliotIt's tapes.
Wha-hold, wait. Did y-you just say "tapes"?
EliotI just said "tapes"!
Cassette tapes?
EliotYour little thing, it's not gonna work.
But at least you ain't got to type nothing.
EliotHardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a box full of surveillance tapes, huh?
Punch somebody!
Eliot[Threateningly] Oh, I'm gonna punch somebody.
Can you break the codes?
The codes? The codes to the Cayman Bank and Trust, where the Cali cartel and the African dictators keep all their dirty money? The ones that Moscone changes anytime he damn well pleases? Like, it's c-come on. Dude, are you kidding me?
You know, you're-you're very negative lately.
EliotYeah.
And the sass, it doesn't-doesn't help.
[As they listen to a recording of Moscone and his wife arguing]
It's a bit like an opera, isn't it?
EliotYou mean 'cause I want to run away?
How are we doing? How's the search?
EliotI haven't started yet.
Okay, you know, I haven't gotten one answer I was looking for today. What is it that you're doing? What's going on?
EliotI'm cutting onion, deveining shrimp, uh, pan-searing some scallops. I've got 200 people I got to feed, all right? Back off.
Okay, okay. Hmm.
EliotWhat, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?
No, well, yeah.
EliotLook, hold a knife like this—[forehand grip]—cuts through an onion. Hold a knife like this? [switches to a backhand grip] Cuts through, like, eight Yakuza in four seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything is in context.
I take it you've never been married.
EliotNo.
Ever come close?
EliotNo.
What was her name?
EliotThere was this girl I grew up with. But anyway, she married somebody else, so...
Hot damn. What did you do?
EliotWhat did I do? I liberated Croatia.
Oh, see, now, me, I would have just got fat and started up a comic book shop. That's you and me right there.
EliotWhat is it? I've got bacon on.
The butcher is here.
EliotDoes he have the baby lamb chops?
No, the Butcher of Kiev.
Think he'll recognize you?
[Flashback]
I kill you!
[End Flashback]
EliotYeah, I think he'd remember me.
Go.
EliotThese peaches aren't gonna poach themselves, Parker.
Sorry, Emeril.
EliotWhat was that?
You heard me.
EliotYeah. I'll show you. Bam!
[Nate walks in on the aftermath Eliot's fight with the Butcher of Kiev]
Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?
EliotI dunno. Maybe.
This is pretty good, man.
EliotThanks, man. I squeeze, like, fresh lemon juice on it.
Cool. Cool.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
