Eliot quotes from Leverage

Stop taking stuff.

Hey, what about this? Should I take this? (holds up a red t shirt)

HEHardison and Eliot

Put it back.

Intel. We're not here to steal.

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[Seeing Leonard chew out a worker]

He's got a very punchable face.

Eliot

Yeah, I noticed that.

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GGuard

Oxygen deprivation works fast. You'll be unconscious in thirty seconds.

Eliot

It'll take me ten seconds.

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I'm saying that we, uh, I think we went overboard on Christmas gifts last year.

Nate, I love my ECOSSE motorcycle from last Christmas, compliments of my Santa baby.

Eliot

You spent $100,000 on a motorcycle?

Don't hate the gift. Hate the elf.

Eliot

I do hate the elf.

So are you saying no Christmas presents at all? Not even something small?

No gifts.

But... How are we supposed to do Christmas without any presents?

Let's just put a limit on spending. Lets say $1,000 (Nate clears his throat.) $100 a (Nate clears his throat.) $50 bucks a person.

Fine. Whatever.

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Eliot

You realize that without that safety study, we got nothing.

Yeah.

Eliot

So why'd you promise him that?

Because we are not gonna let that toy get released. We're gonna steal Christmas.

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Okay, so, Hardison, you get on that lecture thing. Eliot, you get on the mommies.

And he doesn't mean that literally.

Eliot

That joke is never funny.

It's always funny.

Eliot

No, it's not, Hardison. Comedy's about timing and you don't have it!

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Eliot

Promise me those things will never hit toy shelves.

Nah, I'm keeping him all to myself. I've got them all lined up in my warehouse like an army of joy and rage.

You never want to be in that warehouse alone. Ever.

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Did Eliot make it out?

Eliot

[choking on blood] Age of the geek, brother.

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There it is man. They Holy grail.

A thousand bad guys.

Eliot

A lot of revenge in there, just waiting on a righteous man to take a swing.

Yeah. That man's not gonna be me. We're out. Done.

We?

Well... That depends on - On what you say next, of course. (Nate dims the lights)

What? Huh?

For five years I've been, I've been...

Drunk.

Lying.

EElliot

You've been an ornery bastard.

Yeah, yeah. All that, all that. But you, you have always, always had my back. Now - be on my side?

[about the ring] Did you steal it?

No!

Because that would be more romantic, right, Parker?

I'll, uh. I'll steal the, um, First anniversary ring. Now can I get up?

No. You've got to say it.

What?

Say the thing.

What thing? Oh, The thing. Oh, uh, yeah. Will you marry me, Laura?

Yes. Yes.

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EElliot

You know this was your crusade. Now this is our war.

Promise me, you'll keep them safe.

Eliot

Till my dying day.

You know, Eliot, I'd say, call if you need anything, but you never, never need anything.

Eliot

Yeah, I did. Thanks to you, I don't have to search anymore.

[to Hardison] You're the smartest man I know. Don't get cocky.

It's a little late for that.

So, you're really going?

How does that make you feel?

I think I'm okay with it. Yeah, I'm okay with it.

That's why we can go.