Eliot quotes from Leverage

Eliot

[After beating up a guard] I told you there was a ninth guard.

Yeah, yeah, I owe you a beer.

Eliot

How's the knee?

Parker

Driving me to crazy town. Pretty much like it's on cruise control, cruising me through crazy town. And you know what? Let's face it. I have way too much to do. This knee, I need to be on a bullet train through crazy town. I don't have time to stop for gas, go to the museum--

Eliot

Parker, breathe. Identify you limitations. Turn them to advantages.

Parker

Okay, good. How do I do that?

Eliot

Adapt.

Eliot

What do you want?

I got a job for you. Right here in town, got to be this morning.

Eliot

No, I don't do that anymore.

The rumors are true, damn it. That's like Picasso throwing away his paintbrush.

Eliot

I'm gonna keep her alive. You guys find a way to get her out of here.

With what?

Eliot

You stole a Michelangelo with tin foil and chewing gum! Figure it out!

Eliot

Hang on.

Parker

Um, no. Cops, bad. Thieves, go.

Make it look good.

Really? That's all you--

You're slowing down in your--

Three tries? Damn.

Eliot

He didn't always wear a suit.

Eliot

What do they got on the gunman?

They're running his prints. It's gonna take hours to narrow down.

Eliot

Look up the Navy SEAL database, enlisted from '90 to '95. [Hardison turns to him] It's his watch. Steel-brushed chronometers were standard SEAL issue, until they switched to the carbon black diver's watch in '95. It's a very distinctive watch.

Eliot

The case is vacuum-sealed.

Do not tell me what’s inside.

Eliot

Says... “influenza, 1918.”

Get out. Now! Get out! Now! Go! Go! Get out! (outside) The Spanish flu killed 50 million people during World War I, and now somebody’s got it.

Parker

Look, we can do this. Just treat it like any another job.

This isn’t just any other job.

Eliot

All right, all right. Stay focused.

I focused! That bug in there killed 50 million people! 50! And that was when the population was lower.

Parker

Now?

Now? 150 million people. 150 million dead. Hey, we’re thieves, man, and we’re good at what we do, but this is way, way out of our league. And you expect us to go catch some psycho with a city killer? A country killer?

Eliot

You scared?

You’re damn right.

Eliot

I’m not. I got the best thief And the smartest guy I know chasing this guy. Hey, listen to me. You’re smartest man I’ve ever known, Hardison. I need that brain to get me to him. ‘Cause you know if I lay my hands on him, it’s done. Get me to him.

Promise you'll consider working with us again.

Eliot

I work with them now.

Honor among thieves?

Eliot

Something like that.

The world can always use more good guys.

Eliot

Too bad we're the bad guys.

Parker

You're shot. You should go to the hospital.

Eliot

I don't do hospitals.

I told you. He takes getting shot very lightly.

Can I get a “good morning, Value!More”?

Good morning, Value!More!

And who’s Value!More?

We’re Value!More!

And what’s Value!More?

The best!

Eliot

This reminds me of North Korea.

Come on, Eliot, shake it. Give me some soul!

Eliot

Are you dancing? I hate you.

Eliot, so where'd you find these people?

Eliot

Two words: "free beer."

Eliot

Everybody that got laid off has a job.

Parker

What about the building?

I heard an anonymous donor put in a bid for it. He said he's gonna turn it into a theater for the local high school.

The arts are vastly underfunded in this country, don't you think?

Sophie

You sly old dog.

Eliot

(just hit Parker with his car for the con) What are you doing? That was way to close!

Parker

(Giving a thumbs up) Had to make it look real! Was it good?