Eliot quotes from Leverage

Parker

There's no way Hardison's gonna be able to break into that vault.

What is Hardison gonna do?

Hardison's gonna pretend to break into the vault.

Eliot

Yeah, well, hopefully the Russians will only pretend to kill him!

Eliot

[as Hardison pretends to punch him to the floor] Next time, I play the thief.

I'd like to hear you do an accent.

Eliot

[irritated, as he takes another punch] I'd like to hear you do an accent!

Tara

Either I'm in, or Ruth is out. It's your choice. [Leaves]

They're gonna hate this.

Eliot

I hate this.

You do not let Vicki Vale into the Batcave! Ever!

She checks out. Civil rights lawyer. Does a lot of pro bono work. Collects lost causes like kittens.

Eliot

Well, she's honest.

Crusader. Incorruptible…

…And one sexy librarian.

Sophie

Look, we didn't get along when we first started. And Eliot, how long did it take before you trusted me? Hmm? Eliot, you do trust me, don't you?

Eliot

That's not the point, Sophie.

Sophie

The last time one of you tried to grift, you wound up kidnapped by Russians.

Eliot

That's this brother right here.

Parker

Hardison.

Uh, we, we still can't let that go?

Sophie

Listen to me. Tara Cole is the best. I wouldn't have sent her if I didn't trust her, and I know you're going to love her. So just…just give her a chance.

Eliot

She is hot.

She's very hot.

Parker

Hot.

Parker

Warm? Cold? Why are we staring?

Tara

OK, she's on the hook.

Great. Let's go steal a fashion show.

Tara

"Steal a fashion-" Does he always talk like that?

Eliot

You're on comms.

You do know I can hear you.

Eliot

What?

Is that…Is that mascara? Dude, you got on guy-liner, man. And the leather pants, what the—

Eliot

This is, listen, this is fashion-y.

If you're Steven Seagal.

Eliot

Don't. Don't!

Not everybody can rock the scarf.

Tara

I was gonna say Steven Tyler, but Seagal works. [Chuckles again]

Eliot

[slapping hands together] How am I supposed to find soy candles on such a short notice?

Parker

[punctuating each word with a point] Farmers. Market.

Parker

What kind of crook was your dad?

Parker, you just…

He ran numbers.

Eliot

Let me get this straight. So, you—you stop stealing, you stop drinking, and you moved upstairs from a thief bar?

Parker

He did. I-I get that. You don't get that? Why does nobody else get that?

Using the Liams' cell phone, able to map the GPS fingerprints of their recent calls and analyze their patterns and movements throughout the city—

Eliot

Led us to a warehouse. We're in it now.

Wai— I-I'm sorry? Led you—Led you to the warehouse? I had two cell phones in two minutes. Do you know who else can do what I do? CIA, MI6, and me.

Eliot, I'm gonna ask you not to do anything violent.

Eliot

What... what are you talking about? I only use violence as a, as a, as an appropriate response.

Sterling

Hello, Nate.

Tara

And this is…?

James Sterling. We used to work together. Insurance.

Tara

He seems to rub Eliot the wrong way.

You think?

Tara

I got this one.

Eliot

Really? What're gonna say to him? 'Cause we got no cover story. We've got no background on this cat.

Tara

Okay. That's it then. I won't say anything. Really. Not one word. Just, when he turns around and looks at you, do that thing with your eyes that scares people.

Eliot

What? I don't know what you're talking about—

Tara

[Smiling] Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Tara

What we imagine is always so much better than the reality.

Eliot

Like love?

Eliot

Its 101, man. After that, you don't have to be rocket scientist to figure it out.

Maggie

[Impressed] You know, people underestimate you, Eliot.

That's kind of the point.

Parker

Interpol? Seriously?!

Sterling's career gets another boost off of our hard work.

Tara

We didn't even get paid.

Nope.

Tara

I hate this guy.

Eliot

Now you're part of the team.