Eliot quotes from Leverage

Sophie

Now that's what I call control.

Yeah, we might have, uh, pushed too hard.

Sophie

Please.

Parker

Too much.

Eliot

Little bit.

Eliot, give me everything you can on a Lt. Abbot. Just, just do what I taught you.

Eliot

Now the http thing comes before the www, right?

Eliot!

Eliot

And which one's the forward slash?

Sophie

Come on.

It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't—it ain't the time.

Eliot

You see, it's not that much fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker

Loch Ness monster?

Loch Ness submarine.

Parker

NO!

Eliot

Yeah, those waters are cold and deep. It's the perfect place to test.

Parker

Area 51.

Eliot

True.

False. [Looks at Eliot] False.

Eliot

It's true.

No, she said Area 51.

Eliot

I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Been there.

Eliot

[over comm] Hardison, we got a problem.

What kind of problem?

Eliot

They're MRI-ing my pizza and their stance says ex-CIA.

You can tell somebody worked for the CIA just from how they stand?

Eliot

It's a very distinctive stance!

That's our way in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. The state of the company meeting, here we go.

Eliot

What is that? I don't know what that is.

Parker

Me neither.

It's like State of the Union?

Sophie

What is that?

Oh, right, right. You guys never had real jobs.

Parker

Really? How'd you get over it?

Eliot

I locked myself in a woodshed behind my house for a couple of nights. After that, I was fine.

Parker

That is so funny. I was scared of the dark and did exactly the same thing.

Eliot

That's not the same thing. What's wrong with you?

Parker

You picked his pockets without stealing anything. Cool.

It's what I do. A man, a phone, no limits.

Eliot

A man, a phone, no action. Come on, man, you left that out there like a hanging curveball!

Eliot

How long is this gonna take?

As long as it has to take. You know, I was just pulled up to the ceiling of an elevator by my pants, so do not take that tone with me!

Eliot

He's fine. We practically had to beg him to come back, all right? He's not drinking, he's at the top of his game. I gotta be honest with you, I can't even believe we pulled this one off.

Sophie

Well, that's the problem. He keeps winning. Every time he wins, he believes a little bit more that he can control…life.

Eliot

It's what gets him through the day.

Sophie

What happens when he loses? Last time he lost, it broke him. He breaks again, I don't think even we could pick up the pieces.

Eliot

See any suspects?

No one jumps out at me.

Eliot

Me neither. What makes you so sure they're gonna show up?

Listen, when you go through the trouble of killing someone the likes of Sophie Devereaux, you make sure they're dead.

Sophie

Nate, remember? Remember that great run in Moscow?

That great run? I chased you for three months.

Sophie

Well, uh, technically, you chased us. Sorry.

Are you saying that…you saw other teams before us?

Parker

So really he was just another Nate, before Nate.

Eliot

[To Nate] Let me ask you a question. What bugs you more, is it the fact that he was with Sophie first or that he outsmarted you?

Moving on.

You were scared to fight a girl.

Eliot

She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison.

I don't care.

Eliot

Seriously, she actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. She broke the mop and took…

I can top that. [Shows a scar on her shoulder] Frag grenade, Somalia.

Eliot

[Rolls up his sleeve] Myanmar. Sniper.

I was a sniper in Myanmar for awhile.

Eliot

[Nervously] When?

2003.

All right, nice work guys. Tomorrow when he [Kerrity] shows up with the diamonds, state police will be there.

Eliot

Why, so they can arrest Hardison's ego?

Be cool, baby. Ice cool.

Eliot

I had court-side seats! Tell Hardison when this is over I'm gonna break his friggin' arm!

[to Hardison over the comm] Eliot says 'Hi'.