Parker quotes from Leverage

Parker

Alice made a friend!

Eliot

I'm gonna tell you one more time. You made a friend. Not "Alice."

Parker

Oh. Cool! Well, think she'll want to go steal a painting with me?

Sophie

Start small, Parker. Try coffee.

Are we still unclear? I'm a functioning alcoholic, you know? And the trick is not to get hung up on the "alcoholic." But celebrate the "functioning" part of the sentence.

Eliot

You're getting worse.

This--this is messing you up, man.

Parker

[reading from a notepad] We can't keep watching you do this to yourself.

Is this my intervention?

Man, am I glad I don't have to break in there. That is one sick security system.

Parker

What, with our tools? Give me three days of prep, it'd be like taking diamonds from the French National Bank. That's like taking candy from a baby.

I got it.

Parker

A very easy thing to do.

Got...it.

Parker

Oh, look, little buddy. [picks up fake statue] That's your new home!

Can you please not play with the little naked man? Please.

Parker

I'm not. [sets the statue down]

No, no, Nate. We haven't done any prep, we don't have our tools.

Parker

You want me to break into a secure storage facility with whatever I can scrounge up the buffet table?

Pretty much. Yep.

Parker

[Smiling] Cool.

Parker

We should pretend to make out.

Make what?

Let's talk about-- A little bit--

You, uh, bumped the door there. Sets the alarm off.

You know what?

Parker

Oh.

We, you know how it is.

Parker

Sorry.

You did not just think about this on the way in from the van.

Parker

Some people do crosswords.

Wha-you-- Don't throw the David.

Parker

You caught it, didn't you?

You're crazy.

Parker

Who ripped out the toilets?

This was an IRS foreclosure. I got it cheap.

Eliot

IRS doesn’t take toilets.

They do when they're solid gold. This used to be MC Hammer's place. I guess you can touch this, with a S.W.A.T. team and a federal warrant.

Why'd you come back? We agreed to scatter for six months. All of you–all of you—made an amateur move being there.

Parker

It's too hard to leave a job undone. It's like an itch.

I put a lot of work into us, into that office. It was like my second home. I blew up my second home.

Eliot

As annoying as you people are, I quit this crew when I quit this crew. Nobody makes me leave.

Sophie

I just, I really wanted to hurt Sterling.

Sophie

It's going to be twice as hard to steal those statues.

Oh, no, no. It'll be four times as hard. They know we're coming.

Parker

And how do they know that?

I went to their office and told them.

Parker

I can get around those.

Eliot

Really? And end up on one of the new 20 cameras they got down there from our last little trip to the basement?

Parker

That was fun.

Yeah. Could we talk about that?

Parker

Talk about what?

Eliot

We can't run a con. They know our faces.

Parker

What about Maggie?

Sophie

Exactly. I mean, most of the museum people aren't gonna recognize us, But Maggie. She works down there.

Parker

No, what about Maggie? She's inside.

Eliot

You just said that. She just said--

No, wait. No, hold--Listen. Listen, I get--I get it. Just have Eliot call her as Dr. Sinclair. We won't play her. He'll just feel her out.

Have Eliot...feel out my wife?

Sophie

Ex, Nate. Ex-Wife.

Parker

Okay, look, you always have a Plan B right? So, fine. Without Maggie, what's the Plan B?

Eliot

You come here a lot?

Maggie

No. I just wanted to see you.

Sophie

That's a date.

Parker

Did we really need to put a button cam on Eliot?

Safety issue.

Maggie

I haven't dated a lot since my marriage broke up.

Eliot

I'm sorry to hear that.

Maggie

No, don't be. He was obsessive, perfectionist, controlling.

Organized! She used to say I was organized. And punctual.

Mm-hmm.

Eliot

He must have had some good qualities.

Maggie

No, not even in bed.

Parker

Ooh!

Maggie

Every night was prom night. You know what I mean? But worst of all, he completely forgot that I gave him that same button camera for Christmas three years ago.

I can explain.