Parker quotes from Leverage

Parker

I like that camera. Could shove a cat in that camera.

Parker

Can I have one?

You can have the whole box.

Eliot

What are you going to do when she finds out you live with your mom?

Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.

Eliot

You keep telling yourself that.

Guys, listen up. We're going on my count, not a second sooner. Parker, no freelancing.

Eliot

Hey, relax. We know what we're doin'.

And on the count of five, four…

Aw, he doesn't want to be our pal.

We're on the count! Five, four, three…

Parker

[runs by and jumps over the side] Yahoooooo!

Eliot

She's gone!

Son of a—!

Eliot

That’s twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.

Okay, you got any chatter on their frequencies?

Parker

No. Why?

There’s eight listed on the duty roster, there’s only four at the guard post.

Parker

I can’t even tell how many guys are in the room. How can you tell who’s who?

Haircuts, Parker. Count the haircuts.

Parker

I would have missed that.

What?

Parker

Nothing.

Parker

They reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can’t go up.

Eliot

Every man for himself then.

Go ahead, I’m the one with the merchandise.

Parker

Yeah, well, I’m the one with an exit.

And I’m the one with a plan. Now, I know you children don’t play well with others, but I need you to hold it together for exactly seven more minutes. Now, get to the elevator and head down. We’re going to the burn scam.

Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?

Eliot

Yeah, well, one show only, no encores.

Parker

I already forgot your names.

It was kind of cool, being on the same side.

No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief.

Parker

You are now. Come on Nathan, tell the truth. Didn’t you have a little bit of fun playing the Black King instead of the White Knight, just this once?

Parker! Get me a phone. What we’re going to do is, we’re going to get out of here together.

Eliot

This was a onetime deal.

Look guys, here’s your problem. You all know what you can do, I know what all you can do, so that gives me the edge, gives me the plan.

Parker

I don’t trust these guys.

Do you trust me?

Eliot

Of course. You’re an honest man.

Parker, phone.

Parker

This is gonna suck. [sticks her fingers down her throat to induce vomiting]

Eliot

I'm going to beat Dubenich so bad even the people that look like him are going to bleed.

Parker

You won't get within a hundred yards. He knows your face. He knows all our faces.

Eliot

He tried to kill us.

Parker

More importantly, he didn't pay us.

Eliot

How is that more important?!

Parker

I take that personally.

Eliot

There's somethin' wrong with you.

Why would Dubenich lie to us?

Cause you’re thieves. If he hired you for a straight up crime, you’d know he was a bad guy like you, you’d be suspicious. This way you just saw another citizen in over his head, and that’s why you didn’t see the double cross coming.

Parker

Why didn’t you see it coming?

Because I’m not a thief.

Eliot

You know what, maybe that was the problem. If you--

Eliot

You want to run a game on this guy? You?

Well, yeah. How do you think I got most of my stolen merchandise back? I mean, this guy, he's greedy, thinks he's smart; he's the best kind of mark.

Parker

He does think he got rid of us.

Element of surprise.

Eliot

What's in it for me?

Payback. And if it goes right, a lot of money.

Parker

And what's in it for me?

A lot of money. And if it goes right, payback. Hardison?

I, I was just going to send a thousand porno magazines to his office, but hell yeah, let's kick him up!

Eliot

[to Nate] What's in it for you?

…He used my son.

All right, let's go get Sophie.

Eliot

What the hell's a Sophie?

She's awful.

Parker

Is she injured? In the head?

Eliot

Seriously, man, she is the worst actress I've ever seen.

This is not her stage.

Yeah, this is Victor Dubenich’s office, my computer just completely crashed.

Parker

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Did you try turning it on and off again?

Yes, nothing seems to be working.

That’s a computer thing. I told her to say that.

Well done.

Nice job on the zip line.

Parker

Totally thought she was going to break a leg. Not bad for a first time.

Parker

What is it with woman and shoes?

Sophie

There’s something wrong with you.

Eliot

That’s what I said.

I'm just very good at what I do.

Parker

This is the score! This is the score!

Age of the geek, baby.

Eliot

Somebody kiss this man so I don't have to!