Parker quotes from Leverage

Parker

So what do we do now?

Well, I just sent Eddie to the hospital. So let's go steal us a hospital.

Parker

So let me get this straight. You're a doctor.

Yeah.

Parker

What if someone asks you to deliver a baby?

I'd say I'm not an obstetrician.

Parker

What, a what?

A baby doctor.

Parker

Well, what if there's a train accident and there's stretchers everywhere and someone points to you and says "Hey you! Help me with this sucking chest wound!"

I'd stick my hand in the chest and, y'know, hope for the best.

Parker

Oh, you are so not operating on me.

Parker

Is it just me, or has Nate gotten even more sadistic since he quit drinking?

Sophie

Is it just me, [grins] or does that make him even more attractive?

There are three general exceptions for house arrest: personal safety, death of a relative, and family events.

Eliot

Personal safety. We could burn the apartment down.

Parker

[excitedly raises her hand] Ooh! Ooh!

Listen, we still got to get Fowler out of the apartment so that we can get in.

Parker

Except now when he leaves, there'll be someone waiting to kill him.

Man, one of his victims wants payback more than he wants to be paid…back.

Yeah, Sophie's gonna be doing this one.

Eliot

What?

Yeah.

Sophie

Yeah. I'm gonna be Nate on this one. Only, you know, nicer.

Parker

But if you're gonna be Nate, who's gonna be you?

Sophie

You.

Parker

Me?

Eliot

I don't mean to obsess about the last time Sophie ran a con, but, I'm sorry, where we had to blow up the offices!

Sophie

Really, 'cause I don't remember that.

I do.

Sophie

…and then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington, and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker

Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot

And poetic.

Parker

We totally went to the moon.

Eliot

Movie sets. I've seen them, they're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker

Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot

Because they're gonna reuse them for the Mars mission, repaint them all red.

Sophie

Now that's what I call control.

Yeah, we might have, uh, pushed too hard.

Sophie

Please.

Parker

Too much.

Eliot

Little bit.

[over comms] Get me out of here!

Sophie

Yeah, I—I'm working on it!

Parker

On it! [gets ready to leave]

Sophie

No, no, no, no! You cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker

Right.

Damn the con! I am a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera! I am going to jail forever!

Parker

Loch Ness monster?

Loch Ness submarine.

Parker

NO!

Eliot

Yeah, those waters are cold and deep. It's the perfect place to test.

Parker

Area 51.

Eliot

True.

False. [Looks at Eliot] False.

Eliot

It's true.

No, she said Area 51.

Eliot

I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Been there.

Remember when I said you had pretty hair? I was lying.

Parker

Yeah? Well, so was I when I said you didn't…wait, dammit.

This is the vice president of the frozen foods division, Erik Casten. Erik with a K, Casten with a C.

And how is that relevant?

Parker

Oh. Eric with a C? Nice and friendly. Erik with a K? Evil.

Sophie

I didn't know that.

Parker

Everybody knows that.

That's our way in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. The state of the company meeting, here we go.

Eliot

What is that? I don't know what that is.

Parker

Me neither.

It's like State of the Union?

Sophie

What is that?

Oh, right, right. You guys never had real jobs.

Parker

Really? How'd you get over it?

Eliot

I locked myself in a woodshed behind my house for a couple of nights. After that, I was fine.

Parker

That is so funny. I was scared of the dark and did exactly the same thing.

Eliot

That's not the same thing. What's wrong with you?