[as a flight attendant, speaking before takeoff] In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely, the impact will kill you.
[People give each other uncertain looks while Eliot rubs his face]
Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits. Because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna wanna get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over a thousand degrees! That's hot, folks.
[People murmur, looking even more concerned and confused]
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