Dr. Nate Heywood quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Nate

[coming out of the library] Oh, hey, Sara. Sara. I've been searching for more outliers in hopes of finding Darhk and his witchy friend. [to the ceiling] You'd think having a super-computer would be helpful!

Gideon

Watch yourself, Mr. Heywood.

Nate

Anyways, there's no sign of them in the timeline.

Sara

What is that smell?

Nate

Okay, full disclosure: I haven't left the library in seven days. I think. Is it Tuesday? I'm not really sure. It's hard to really keep track of time in a temporal zone.

Sara

Shower. Now.

Nate

Okay. I'll shower after I find Darhk. I know how much it means to you to find him.

Sara

Look, we're gonna put Darhk back in the ground where he belongs, but not like this.

Nate

Not like what?

Sara

Not like Rip. He lost perspective and he got his team killed. I'm not gonna be that kind of captain. But I am the kind of captain that tells you to clean yourself up. Okay?

Nate

Aye aye.

Nate

What happened?

Stein

[inside Jax's body] Yes. Pray tell, Doctor Palmer, what exactly happened to us, because it seems we are in a particularly precarious situation that I, for one, have no idea how to remedy.

Jax

[inside Stein's body] Why don't we just merge?

Stein

[inside Jax] Out of the question! Absolutely not. We have switched bodies. Who knows what else may have shifted. Merging now could cause a meltdown of insurmountable proportions. We just... we just can't afford the risk.

Nate

[still amused, pointing to Jax] You're the Professor, [points to Stein] and you're Jax. [starts laughing again] They switched.

Sara

[to herself] Must be Tuesday.

Amaya

What's going on?

Ray

Oh, we seem to have a bit of a Freaky Friday situation

Jax

[inside Stein] I'm Jax

Stein

[inside Jax] And I'm Martin.

Zari

Cool.

Zari

I thought the Helen of Troy story was just a myth.

Ray

Well, we found that myths tend to have some truth about them. This one more than most.

Nate

Helen and her lover Paris set off a ten-year war that launched thousands of ships and set tens of thousands of men off to their death. All in the name of her beauty.

Zari

You make it sound like it's her fault. Men always find a reason to fight. That's not on her.

Mick

Depends. How hot is she?

Nate

[turning away from everyone else] I mean, she's all right. [mouthing whisper to Mick] She's really hot.

Nate

Everything okay? You're hitting the bag like it's insulting your mother. And you haven't said anything for like, thirty minutes.

Amaya

What is there to say?

Nate

I don't know, talk about your granddaughter? [Amaya resumes punching the bag] And not the superhero either, the psycho water witch.

Amaya

The who?

Nate

Your granddaughter. I mean, I'm sure she's really not that bad.

Amaya

You just called her a psycho water witch.

Nate

Yeah, and I instantly regret it. I'm she just, you know, confused.

Amaya

Well, I'm not. Kuasa and I will confront each other again. It's inevitable. When we do, I won't hesitate to stop her, even if she is my granddaughter. [leaves]

Nate

Okay, good talk. Good to get the emotions out.

Nate

Look. I'm sorry you have to see your father, but you need to suck it up!

Mick

If it wasn't for this time-traveling stuff, I would have never run into that bastard.

Nate

Okay. You know what? We're changing this operation. This has become Operation: Tough Love. Yeah. I'm gonna go all Dr. Phil on your ass. It's time for you to man up and sort out–

Mick

Daddy issues.

Nate

I was gonna say "unresolved grief", but let's go with what you're saying.

Mick

You wanna know why I've never seen a shrink?

Nate

Why?

Mick

I don't regret killing my old man.

Nate

[swallows] What?

Mick

That's right, Pretty. You heard me. I let my old man burn to death. How's that for tough love?

Jax

Man, can you believe Sara? She doesn't trust me around young Stein!

Nate

So you're saying you weren't planning on warning Martin about him dying?

Jax

Okay, fine. But c'mon man. Gray dies, and then all of a sudden his younger self gets displaced in time?

Nate

I know, it's crazy that we keep bumping into ourselves.

Jax

Yeah.

Nate

I mean, Ray and the baby Dominator, and Sir Stein and his killer 'stache?

Jax

Mick's dad. I mean, this can't just be a coincidence. [Amaya and Ray walk in] What if this is fate's way of saying we should step up? That we can actually improve things?

Amaya

Martin made his choice, Jax. We should be honoring his sacrifice, not trying to undo it.

Jax

Yeah, but it's Gray. I mean, how can we not tell him?

Ray

Because what if knowing about his death makes young Marty choose not to create the Firestorm matrix? Or meet you? Or step foot on the ship? He never would've wanted you to risk the present to save him in the past.

Jax

And how exactly do you know what he would've wanted, Ray? You weren't psychically connected to him for three years!

Nate

Z, will you please tell her that talking to Kuasa is a bad idea?

Zari

No.

Amaya

Thank you. I refuse to accept that my granddaughter is pure evil.

Nate

Fine. She's eighty-nine percent evil.

Ray

Guys! I think Sara is in trouble.

Mick

QUIET!! Haircut! Take the new girl. Find Blondie, Fake Snart and Trenchcoat. Amaya, the med-bay. Pretty, the library. Water Bitch? Stays in the freezer.

Ray

You know, Mick? You're really showing some management potential.

Mick

Get out. [Ray gets out.]

Zari

I have something to tell you.... Hedgehog Day! [Nate stares at her blankly.] Dammit, you told me if I said "Hedgehog Day", you would know what I was talking about.

Nate

You mean Groundhog Day? Why would I tell you to tell me about a Bill Murray movie?

Zari

[frustrated] I don't know. All I know is I'm stuck in this time loop...

Nate

Like Groundhog Day! Okay, got it. Okay.

Zari

You do? [hugs Nate, relieved] And you'll help me figure out what's going on.

Nate

Yeah. That's what friends are for.

Zari

We're friends?

Nate

Of course. So lay it on me. What's happening?

Nate

Amaya....

Amaya

You know, I learned something from hanging out with pirates. They always focus on the problem in front of them.

Nate

And what is that problem?

Amaya

[seductively] Do you yield, sir?

Nate

[softly] Aye, Captain. [They start kissing.]

Sara

Any sign of Ray?

Nate

Nah, just another Grateful Dead-end. I, for sure, got a contact high.

Mick

[producing a pair of tinted eyeglasses] And I managed to swipe Jerry Garcia's glasses.

Wally

Uh-oh. [takes the glasses away from Mick at super-speed] Once a thief, always a thief.

Nate

Dude. No, we... we allow light to moderate theft on this ship. We like to call them "souvenirs". [Wally sheepishly returns the glasses to Mick.]

Sara

All right, let's go check this out. We need to find Elvis before panic sets in.

Gideon

Elvis Presley's uncle preached at the Church of Zion every Sunday. The boy never missed a service.

Sara

You heard the lady. [Everyone just stares silently at Sara.] What? Why are you staring at me?

Nate

You know, we're waiting for you to... do the thing you do.

Sara

What thing?

Ray

You know. You usually send us into the field with a little more pizzazz.

Sara

[rolls her eyes, sighs, and turns to leave.] Okay, Legends, put on your Sunday best because we are going to church!

Nate

[off everyone else's approval] That's pretty good.

Ray

Amen!

Sara

So Elvis is the bearer of the long-lost sixth totem. Consider me all shook up.

Nate

So he has to join the team, right? I mean, we can't defeat Mallus unless we have the full set. I mean, we can get Gideon to fabricate him a spangly jumpsuit, he'll fit right in.

Nate

I can't wait for you to see Elvis live. It's going to change your life.

Amaya

You really believe my life can be changed by one song.

Nate

Of course. Music is so much more than just song. Music's about identity. It's hearing a track for the first time and you think to yourself, "Wow, this is who I am." And I don't care how long it takes, we're gonna find your music, whether it be rock and roll or, God forbid, Ska.

Wally

Hey, uh, what happens if we don't repair history?

Ray

Working theory: time is frappéd together like a smoothie. So instead of just dealing with Julius Caesar in Aruba, we have to fight off Genghis Khan, a herd of woolly mammoths, and a swarm of locusts from the Old Testament.

Nate

And Mallus is freed from time jail so he can rule over this giant mess.

Wally

So, worse than Flashpoint.

Ray

Uh, is that what we're calling the thing that Barry did? Oh, I think it's something similar.

Nate

Look, just somebody's gotta say it, so I'm gonna say it–

Zari

This is all our fault.

Nate

Apparently I'm not gonna say it, but... yeah. We let Mallus out.

Mick

Well, whose stupid idea was it to fight him with some... magic necklaces?

Amaya

It wasn't the totems that failed. It was us.

Zari

Yeah, we might want to rethink that whole "We screw up things for the better" motto.