Captain Cragen quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Chief Muldrew

"Special violence unit"?

Fin

Randall Carver's a leech.

Chief Muldrew

And you're a police officer. For how much longer is up to you.

Fin

I didn't rough him up.

You're saying the camera's lying?

Fin

You know what, gimme the rip. I don't care. I'm-a find this killer before another kid dies. [leaves]

Chief Muldrew

No. No, keep on goin', Tutuola. Out the door, on to your next career. I'm sure you'll enjoy being a mall cop.

Fin

Okay, I'm sorry. I lost my cool with Carver and I shouldn't have.

Chief Muldrew

Now, go say it again to that asswad who's making our lives Hell!

Chief Muldrew

Your pet cops finally went off the deep end. Arresting Anne Gillette at her parents' funeral?!

They were obeying my direct orders, sir.

Chief Muldrew

You knew I ordered Detective Ramsey to close this case.

I didn't think that trumped a double homicide.

Chief Muldrew

This isn't a moment for you to think. Your detectives didn't arrest Anne Gillette for murder. Penny-ante witness tampering is all I heard.

For now.

Chief Muldrew

And you can prove that she's the killer?

Not yet.

Chief Muldrew

Then why the hell did you arrest her in the middle of Park Avenue?

Dr. Huang

She's dangerous.

Chief Muldrew

Is that your clinical opinion, Dr. Huang?

Dr. Huang

Do you want me to use bigger words? Fine. She's a psychopath with extremely violent tendencies.

Chief Muldrew

Stop showing off. [sighs] Bring her down for murder, and I'll back your play. But screw the pooch, and I'm gonna let the crap roll downhill.

They better crack her, or we're gonna have a lotta shoveling to do.

Hold up. Liv, I'm gonna have to pull you.

Benson

Why?

You're gonna have to finish interviewing Mackenzie. Her mom is demanding a penis-free environment.

[walking out of the courthouse with Stabler] I think we're gonna make a great team

Stabler

Me too. [sees Cragen walking up the courthouse steps] Captain. How's the old place?

It's all getting squared away.

Captain Cragen. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Mikka Von, your new ADA.

Yeah, well, nice knowing you. Your boss called. He's tied up. Asked me to deliver a message. Pack your bags. Go back to Chicago.

[scoffs] I'm being fired by proxy?

Stabler

What's going on?

Apparently, you sent a defense attorney on vacation, sub rosa. D.A. doesn't like dirty tricks.

Stabler

Unless he's the one doing them.

I'm sorry.

[to Stabler] Well, I guess I gotta go take my loft off the market.

Stabler

[shakes hands with Mikka] Been nice working with you.

Back at you. [walks away]

She one of the good ones?

Stabler

Yeah.

Do you need a remedial English course, Elliot? How do I make you understand the words "Stay away from Hunter Mazelon"?

Stabler

Look, I thought he was stalking a new victim.

Well, that might have helped your case if you hadn't been so ass-reamingly wrong.

Elliot put his papers in. There was nothing I could do.

Benson

[pause] He's earned it.

And then some. You wanna talk?

Benson

No.

Wanna take a day?

Benson

I'm fine.

Liv, I'm sorry.

Folks, this is Detective Second Grade Nick Amaro. He just transferred in.

Second grade already, huh? You must have caught some pretty big fish.

Nah, just kissed a lotta ass.

Now, I did a lot of undercover work when I was in Narcotics. I know Fin did, too. The key to undercover work...

... is to choose an identity as close to your own as possible. I know the drill, detectives.

Right. Sorry, Captain, I just didn't know they had, y'know, tape recorders when you graduated the Academy.

Fin

At least we didn't have to inflate his bank account because he hasn't spent a dollar of his captain's pay on his wardrobe.

Thank you very much for your help, fellas, but I gotta prepare for my "cyber-date".

Fin

Knock it out, killa.

I heard that.

You want a deal? Your client tells us what we wanna know, and he does time.

And how much is up to you.

What? The Ledger would love nothing more than to have a test case involving First Amendment and NYPD. Please, go ahead. Try us.

You three are playing this while there's a missing kid out there?

Yeah, let's cut to the chase, Mr. Exley.

Okay. Griscomb gives you everything he has on the missing boy's phone records, he gets full immunity from prosecution.

No, this is how it works: Wiretapping is federal. It's out of our hands. He give us something we can use, we'll mis-D the felony eavesdropping. Take a minute to think about it. And by a minute, I mean 59 seconds.

I've been exactly where you are, I know how this job can weigh on you.

What do you mean?

I used to drink. And I mean drink. Soon as I got off duty, I was at the bar pounding. And then I started having a few on the job. You know, just to get through. I thought nobody noticed. Now, my captain could've canned my ass. Should've. But he got me help instead.

Wow.

You're a good detective, Amanda. I don't want to end your career.

I don't want that, either.

So I'm gonna get you help. But you screw up again, you're gone.

What've you got?

It's the lab report on the tissue samples from Sidney Eckhouse's autopsy. Father and daughter tested positive for the same strain of herpes.

Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

[about Benson's half-brother Simon] Anything you wanna tell me?

Benson

It's... complicated. I have a niece.

Congratulations. What does he want from you? Liv, the last time your brother showed up, he nearly cost you your shield.

Benson

Captain, he was being framed!

And now, what does he want?

Benson

He's the only family I have.

And believe me, he knows it. You watch your step.

Benson

Captain. I didn't see you come in.

You probably didn't recognize me without the orange jumpsuit.

Munch

[about Lomitan] This guy's like the Zelig of missing child cases.

Benson

If he's our guy, he's been carrying this secret around for 13 years.

Ya'll interviewed him back in '99. How did it go?

Munch

He was mad at me because I didn't treat him like a brother officer.

Good. Do it again.

Munch

With pleasure.

Fin

I don't wanna move.

Benson

It's 6 feet, Fin.

You're all still too complacent. I've said before, I'll say it again. It's a new year, I wanna shake things up.

Fin

I like my old desk.

Well, we can get you a grief counselor.