Elliot Stabler quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Stabler

I get that Engels was traumatized, but why kidnap an innocent girl?

Dr. Huang

Control. His parents' deaths and his brother's kidnapping took it from him; this is his way of getting it back.

Fin

A-hole couldn't get a hobby?

Stabler

Want me to cut my vacation short?

Benson

No, I'm covered. I'm good.

Stabler

Well, Fin may have your 6, but he's definitely not me.

Fin

No, I'm better. I actually watch her back, and not her backside.

Benson

So she brings home a date, opens something from the company cellar, and he attacks her.

Stabler

So much for romance.

Benson

You sure this guy's out here? The only thing I've seen in the last half hour is a five pound rat.

Stabler

Yeah, you've got it bad? I just saw a transvestite that looks like Munch.

Doug is my twin. Do you even know that means? We share a soul. Ever since we came to be in our mother's womb, we've been together. We always will be.

Benson

It's still incest.

Stabler

Twin-cest.

Fin

Hardwicke's in Miami at a Bar conference. Any idea who's our temporary ADA?

Novak

How 'bout one back from the dead?

Stabler

Casey Novak!

Novak

Alive, and fairly well.

Why do you have such a hard-on for me?

Stabler

'Cause you can't keep yours out of unsuspecting women.

Do you need a remedial English course, Elliot? How do I make you understand the words "Stay away from Hunter Mazelon"?

Stabler

Look, I thought he was stalking a new victim.

Well, that might have helped your case if you hadn't been so ass-reamingly wrong.

But, he's not finished. When can I reschedule?

Stabler

About 25 years.

Benson

Kathy? Kathy!

Stabler

Liv.

Benson

[stunned] Elliot.

Stabler

They tried to kill her... They tried to kill Kathy.

Stabler

Liv, I'm sorry.

Benson

Elliot, we don't have to do this. [pause] Okay. You wanna do this now? Are you sorry for leaving, or are you sorry for walking... For not giving me the courtesy of telling me?

Stabler

Both. I think I thought if I talked to you about...

Benson

Walking away? Because that's what you did, Elliot. I had to find out from Cragen.

Stabler

Olivia...

Benson

Elliot, you were the most... the single most important person in my life, and you just disappeared.

Stabler

I know. I was afraid, if I heard your voice, I wouldn't be able to leave.

Benson

Elliot, did you hear anything we said to you the other night?

Stabler

I don't want to talk about the other night.

Benson

You have to take care of yourself. I am begging you. Slow this down. Go home. Eat something. Get some rest. Do it for yourself. Do it for your children.

Stabler

Okay. I hear you. [pause] We good?

Benson

I hope so.

You can't let Popkov know I betrayed him. You gotta make this look right.

Stabler

You mean I have to make it look like I'm arresting a total scumbag who doesn't deserve to live? I can do that.

Stabler

The last nine months have been a blur. Until Wheatley goes to trial, there's no closure.

Benson

Carisi says that Wheatley's out of postponements. The clock is ticking.

Stabler

Make it tick faster.

Poor Ange. She's a shell of her former self. She hasn't been the same since her son died.

Stabler

Hmm. That's not my experience with Angela. She was as if grief was a powerful aphrodisiac.

She was playing you.

Stabler

Yes, she was... over and over.

Look at you, all puffed out with your Bayside High bravura. When this is over, she'll be right by my side.

Stabler

Yeah, maybe so. But she'll be thinking of me.