Elliot Stabler quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Stabler

The minute Dad dies, you sell the house and move here.

What was I supposed to do, get on my knees and say my rosary and pray for his immortal soul?

Stabler

He sure as hell needed it.

[laughs] And then some.

Sex is dangerous. At its heart it's a power struggle between a man and a woman.

Stabler

Not if you do it right.

C'mon, Elliot. It doesn't have to go down this way. We can solve this together. 2 marines.

Stabler

You killed that woman. You dumped her body in the river. You had the nerve to shake my boy's hand!

I have patients waiting.

Stabler

God help them.

Benson

You can’t tell me that there’s no connection between porn and rape.

Fin

Whoa, whoa, whoa, look. I've enjoyed adult entertainment a time or 2 and I have never forced a woman.

Benson

So after what we see all day, you go home and watch women being degraded to get off?

Fin

All women don’t feel the same way you do about porn. My girl digs it. Plus you've got women running multi-million dollar porn production companies.

Stabler

Women making porn? That’s like the whore on the corner working her way up to pimp. Doesn’t make it right.

Fin

Lighten up, choir boy. You don’t have to be a perv to like porn.

Benson

Oh, yeah? Then how come people don’t put V for Vagina next to Vertigo on their bookshelves?

Fin

'Cause they’re afraid of being judged by prudes like you.

Stabler

[suspect starts to run away from Stabler and Benson] Got a runner! [the suspect turns and runs away; Benson and Stabler follow] Vasco, stop!

Fin

[punches the suspect in the face; the suspect falls to the ground] We got a dropper!

[about a jewelry heist] My whole life I never made a haul half this rich.

Stabler

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

Stabler

I had him!

Fin

Yeah, like Custer had the Indians.

Are you a dancer?

Benson

No, Sid. I`m a detective, remember?

Oh... You're pretty enough to be a dancer.

Benson

Thank you, Sid.

[to Stabler] You're not.

Stabler

That's the cross I bear.

Stabler

How do you know when a lawyer is lying?

Benson

When his lips are moving?

Fin

What are we waitin' on?

Stabler

Cragen. He says we don't touch the place until Greylek sees it, just in case IAB wants to screw with us again.

Munch

You sure Greylek's not on one of her "I gotta be at the crime scene" crusades?

Fin

[looks ahead] That's not Greylek.

Benson

Alex!

What have we got?

Stabler

Where's Greylek?

New administration called her back to the justice department. DA let her leave immediately.

Benson

And McCoy drafted you to fill in.

I wasn't drafted. Jack asked me.

Benson

No one told us about it.

I only accepted an hour ago.

Munch

He goes by many names- Satan, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Beelzebub, Old Nick...

Stabler

Let's not forget Ryan Seacrest.

I'm sorry, I don't recognize them. I feel bad for their families...

Stabler

You don't feel anything. I mean, he feels excitement when he goes up to their door, wondering, Is she the one? She's right, she's mine.

But when he makes his move, she rejects him. Yells at him. He gets enraged, punches her in the face just to teach her a lesson.

Stabler

Seeing her lying there, bleeding, helpless, that turns him on. He lusts after her.

Maybe he ties her up, and then she is his for as long as he wants. When he's finished, he looks at what he's done.

Stabler

This broken, battered, dead thing that you made. You're pumped with power. So proud of what you've done that you've just gotta show it off. So you pose the victim for whoever finds her.

You don't know me.

Stabler

Well, we will, because we're searching your apartment. We're going through your private things.

How's it feel to be violated, Mr. Ocurro?

Stabler

[to Angela about Mark] He scare you?

Yes! He once tied a cat to a bus. He dropped another one off a sixth-story walk-up. He's a mistake, I don't know whose - mine or God's!