Olivia Benson quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Benson

So, are we okay?

Stabler

I just need space to disagree with you so that I don't feel like it's going to cost me our partnership.

Benson

You never been gun-shy before.

Stabler

Yeah, well, you know, things change.

Benson

Well, like you said, you're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man. Who else would put up with me?

Benson

When was the most recent burglary?

I don't know, like, the night before last. How come you guys don't know that?

Fin

We too busy eatin'.

Benson

I don't need to go to the hospital Captain.

Fin

Captain, HAZMAT is ready to move in.

Take her. Restrain her if you have to.

Stabler

I thought the joint would be empty.

Benson

I thought the doctors said you had to be on house arrest for 2 weeks.

Stabler

I can't stay away.

Benson

It's almost midnight.

Stabler

I didn't want Cragen to see me.

Benson

Yeah. I know the feeling.

Stabler

Mr. Truex?

What'd you do to my daughter? Hm? She gonna be okay?

Benson

She's sleeping. The doctor says she's gonna be fine.

Oh, fine. Sure. Sure. She's lucky you didn't kill her.

Stabler

We didn't slit her wrist.

No. But you interrogated her WITHOUT A LAWYER PRESENT!! You told her she did it! You made her suicidal with your accusations and innuendo!

Benson

No. The drugs that she was on made her depressed, and her own guilt made her suicidal.

She's innocent, detective.

Benson

Well, you know that's not true, since you're the one who saw her at the house.

I had a head injury. I dunno who I saw. And stay away from Charlotte. As soon as she's discharged, I'm takin' her home.

Stabler

She's going to Rikers.

Over my dead body!

Stabler

Why don't you go talk to Marsden?

Benson

And say what? "Hi, I'm Olivia. Your dad raped my mom." And, "Oh, I found you because I illegally ran my DNA."

Benson

Who today has 10 kids?

Stabler

Not even Catholics.

Olivia

You're sleeping with a teenage boy.

Jordan's a man. He's 17, it's not a crime.

Olivia

Oh, it oughta be. You're old enough to be his mother.

Barely. When I was his age, I was pregnant with Becca.

Olivia

So you're reliving your lost childhood? Is that it?

You don't get it. When was the last time a man your age asked you out?

Olivia

Oh, we're not talking about me. I'm not the one who's sleeping with a teenager.

It's been a while since you had a date, hasn't it? That partner of yours is cute. But I bet he likes them younger. My ex sure did. I wasted ten good years on Wally before I found out he was schtupping his secretary. When he ran out on us, I was angry at first. But then I realized, if he could have a younger woman, I could have a younger man.

Olivia

Your husband leaving you hardly justifies you sleeping with a high school student.

Why are you so bitter? Did someone leave you? Or maybe you had a chance once. Someone wanted to marry you, you thought you wanted something more?

Olivia

And your "something more" is a teenage boy?

He knows his way around the bedroom.

Olivia

And apparently around your liquor cabinet. What, you have to get him drunk to get him to sleep with you?

Hardly. He came on to me. Asked me to be his teacher.

Olivia

So when was his first lesson?

Is it just me you got a thing for or is it all men?

Benson

Oh, you’re the one with a “thing” problem, Micky… Those two girls said you got soft when you raped them. Is that why you hate all women?

What I hate is a bull dyke who gets a little power and thinks she has to use it.

Olivia, please believe me, I didn't rape anybody, I'm not a rapist!

Benson

I don't believe rapists, and I know you are one, Simon.

[after Olivia roughs up a suspect in interrogation and she has to be removed from the room] What the hell is your problem?

Olivia

We got a confession, didn't we?

And what part of that do you think is gonna stand up in court? A five-year-old could have done a better job!

Olivia

Then go hire one.

I have had it with your crap.

Olivia

You get your hands off me.

You go home. Now.

Benson

What's going on?

I've been temporarily reassigned. Chief of D's office.

Benson

Why?

You aided your fugitive brother, Elliot covered up his kid's DUI, Fin's stepson butchered two people and walked. Somebody's gotta take the heat.

Benson

But we're the ones who screwed up.

On my command. 1PP calls that "failure to supervise".

Benson

That's insane!

Stabler

You want insane? Guess who they put in charge.

Munch

I had nothin' to do with that! If drafted, I will not run, if elected, I will not serve.

Fin

You are lyin' like a politician. You took the Sergeant's' exam right behind our back. What's up with that?

Munch

I took it last year on a bar bet.

[hands Munch his key] Enjoy your new office, Sergeant Munch. Don't let the power get to your head.

Lake

It was an honor serving under you, sir.

I'm not dead yet, Detective Lake.

Stabler

We'll get you back, Captain.

Try and behave yourselves.

Dr. Huang

[about Janis] Tell me about her alters.

Benson

So far we've seen Dr. Young, a little girl, and a mean Russian.

Stabler

And I bet she does a great Christopher Walken too.

Benson

Casey, you're drowning right now and, unless Stabler can convince that guy to change his mind, I can’t even throw you a life jacket.

Novak

I'm a big girl. I know how to swim.

Benson

How's Kathy?

Stabler

Over 40 and having a baby. I just can't stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen.

Benson

So why don't you see a doctor?

Stabler

We're Catholic. Means it's better not to know.